Joke of the Day (Warning some jokes may cause laughter)!!! : )

[Jonzjob]

I was hoping that you would remove the thing about our late Queen Randy? For a lot this side of the pond it would be like someome taking the p!ss out of the twin towers?

There is only 8 years of my life when she wasn't my Queen and I spent 14 tears in the Royal Air Force serving her

 

[Randy B. Singer]

I was hoping that you would remove the thing about our late Queen Randy? For a lot this side of the pond it would be like someome taking the p!ss out of the twin towers?

There is only 8 years of my life when she wasn't my Queen and I spent 14 tears in the Royal Air Force serving her

I'm sorry that you feel bad that you lost your queen. I feel bad about her passing away too.

But I carefully considered that bit of humor before disseminating it and decided that no one should be finding it offensive. It doesn't disparage the queen in any way, in fact quite the opposite. I've sent it out on my Humor List (it's a broadcast e-mail list), to about 1,000 people from all over the world, and NONE of them were offended.

This is humor. The purpose of humor is to make light of a bad situation and hopefully make it a bit better by laughing at the absurdity of it. It requires a sense of humor to appreciate. Sometimes it is edgy. Folks who make and/or share humor are generally unapologetic about it.

If you come here for humor, you should expect humor. It may require a thick skin.

I hear many offensive lawyer jokes every single day. Do I tell people not to tell them? No, I either laugh or I don't, but I STFU. It's humor. I get it. I even collect some of the better lawyer jokes and pass them on.

If the moderators want to start censoring the humor, I won't complain if they want to take it down. It's their list. But that's a slippery slope. Just about every joke posted is offensive to someone. That's what humor is all about.

 

[Randy B. Singer]

 

[pm-r]

Excellent!!!

Thanks Randy.



- Patrick
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[flyboyy]

I saw this one from yesterday on a site on the subject;

Please be respectful when talking about the Queen. She was a head of state, a monarch, a mother to multiple pedophiles and most importantly a devoted cousin to her husband

 

[Randy B. Singer]

 

[Randy B. Singer]

Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts, and the gorgeous legs."
"You're on."

At age 42, they meet and play golf again.
"Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have a cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
"OK."

At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters.
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
"OK."

At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
"Good choice"

At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."
"Great choice."

At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
"Okay, let’s give it a try."

 

[krs]

A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot!“

Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin”

He says “You don’t understand! I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky. He is the one I was insulting!“

The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is.”

 

[Randy B. Singer]

Subject: Points of Enlightenment


“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz

“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea

“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel

“How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.” – Emo Philips

“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns

 

[flyboyy]

Al McGuire, It's not that complicated BTW they had to listen to the radio calls through the headsets in the helmets.

 

[Randy B. Singer]

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you”

She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.
I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that – you have to be single and you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK,” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, why are you crying?”

“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Steve and I’m going to a Halloween party!”

 

[Randy B. Singer]

 

[Randy B. Singer]

Subject: PONDERISMS

Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke.
Go ahead and try it.....

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

Where's that extra penny going? (taxes)

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

[Randy B. Singer]

 

[Jonzjob]

Blimey? Where did you last reply vanish to Randy?

 

[Randy B. Singer]

Blimey? Where did you last reply vanish to Randy?

Apparently I've been censored. That kind of thing used to be strongly frowned upon in this country, no matter what the subject.

 

[Raz0rEdge]

Keep the title of this thread in mind when you post. Also we've never allowed political discussion here, people fall on all spectrums and these discussion devolve very quickly.

Let's stick to what we came here to discuss and keep the rest out of it. If you're really interested in those topics of discussions, I'm sure there are other avenues that'd gladly be open to it.

 

[pm-r]

Apparently I've been censored. That kind of thing used to be strongly frowned upon in this country, no matter what the subject.

I must say, not being exposed to most of the politics of the U S, I found Randy's post very interesting to read, even if a bit scary, for a country that is so close as a neighbour.

I also forwarded it to my wife to read and she found it almost unbelievable. Our Canadian world NEWS coverage certainly doesn't seem to carry any of that information as though it doesn't happen. So thank you, even for the short exposure of reality.

Anyway, now back to our original programming and Mac topics.




- Patrick
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[krs]

I must say, not being exposed to most of the politics of the U S, I found Randy's post very interesting to read, even if a bit scary, for a country that is so close as a neighbour.

I check a few US on-line news channels regularly because they are our neighbour....and what has been happening there is truly mind boggling.
But I agree, political discussions don't belong in a Mac forum.

 

[Jonzjob]

Did you hear about the hermaphrodite who fell over and got up himself???

Scary world init already my boy