Joke of the Day (Warning some jokes may cause laughter)!!! : )

[lclev]

 

[lclev]

 

[lclev]

 

[Randy B. Singer]

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, she asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

 

[Randy B. Singer]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[krs]

Putin dies and goes to ****, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.

So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros.
---------------

Oh Boy !!!!

The forum replaced a key word with ****
It's the opposite of heaven.

Now it "fixed"itself???? Strange.

PS: Turns out that was not strange, only "fixed" when I edited the post to add note, not in the actual post

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

 

[Jonzjob]

This must be the Depp's of depravity?

 

[Jonzjob]

It's nice to be assured

 

[Jonzjob]

3 British officers were being questioned on a joint services exercise.

The 1st, a pongo (army) officer was asked what he would do if he walked into his tent on exercise and found a rather large scorpion on his bed?

He said that he would immediately pounce on the bed and throw it over and stamp on the creature!

The Royal Marine officer was asked the same and he replied that he would pounce not on the bed but on the creature and snatch it up, tear the sting off of the tail and quickly eat it as there was no telling when the next offering may be.

The R.A.F. officer, again the same question and he replied that he would pick up the phone and demand that the manager tell him why there was a tent in his room!

Quality will out

 

[rps]

A dog and a cat were discussing which of them humans liked the most. The dog said me of course after all they named a very important part of their anatomy after us canine teeth. The cat looks at the dog and says you're not going to win this.

 

[IWT]

We've always had ***** cats, all Siamese. Eight in total. This is the last one:




Ian

 

[Lifeisabeach]

 

[pm-r]

Hercules attempting to give his cat a pill...

Great..,. so true to real life...,


- Patrick
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