Hi David,
Nice to hear from you again.
Your question is really interesting because my gut reaction was, tough, you've got to stick with it.
But when I explored my iPhone 11 Pro, I came across this:
If you go into Settings > Sounds & Haptics. Then under Sounds And Vibration Patterns, tap on Ringtone - that's the sound you chose when the phone rings; well obviously, sorry.
After Tapping Ringtone, scroll to the top. Here you will see'Vibration" - Default. Tap on that.
You will see Synchronised (Default) which will be ticked.
Now scroll to the bottom and you will see CUSTOM - Create New Vibration. Tap on that.
What you do now - and I'm not joking, is "Tap on the screen to create a vibration pattern". When done, Tap Stop. Then Tap Play to hear/feel it.
This was totally new to me. So, thank you very much for your interesting question.
Give it a go and tell us how you got on.
Ian