Hi SlyDude! I didn't hear back from you yet but in the meantime I finally was able to see what version of Safari I have by going through my applications folder and right clicking on the Safari icon (it still refuses to open as a browser). The version of Safari I have is 8.0.2. HELP!
Hello - you have the newest version of Safari. Just for starters, can you connect to the internet w/ other apps, such as Mail; and if you have other devices on your network, do these have internet connection?
First, 'Force Close' Safari (go to the Apple left upper corner, open the drop down menu, and click on 'Force Quit' - select Safari, the reopen to see if helpful?). Second, if the previous suggestion is unsuccessful, log into another 'User's Account' on your computer to see if Safari functions (which would isolate the issue to your account). Finally, reboot your computer, if not already tried. Please post back here. Dave
P.S. of course, you could try another web browser?