Why do we both get all texts?

[tobindia]

For several years, I would get text messages directed to me on my iPhone, and my wife would get hers. Just like it's supposed to be. But lately (I can’t say when it started.), my wife and I both get all text messages on our iPhones, when either one of us is a recipient. Thankfully, we don’t get a lot of messages! Over the years, we’ve both replaced and added to our devices. As things stand right now, our combined inventory, all sharing the same Apple ID, is:

MBA, running OS 13.2.1, used almost exclusively by “Husband”
iPhone SE, iOS 16.2, used by “Husband,” T-Mobile is the provider
iPhone 14, iOS 16.3.1, Used by “Wife,” T-Mobile is the provider
iPad 8, iOS 16.3.1, used by “Husband”
Apple Watch, used by “Wife” (We are both mostly illiterate with the watch, so I can’t even tell you the model and OS level. It’s about 2 years old.)

I don’t know what other information is relevant, but just point me in the right direction! As I said, I dont know when this started, but I suspect that it was during one of our many upgrades. Do you have any suggestions?

 

[MacInWin]

Do you each have individual AppleID accounts? And if you check in Messages on the MBA, are you using the same telephone number/AppleID on each device? If so, that's how it's happening.

 

[IWT]

As things stand right now, our combined inventory, all sharing the same Apple ID, is:

I would suggest that therein lies the main problem -"all sharing the same Apple ID"; that's husband & wife.

For example, many husbands & wives share an Apple ID. My wife and I shared my Apple ID for several years; but about 2-3 years ago, she got her own Apple ID. Since then, I share my Calendar with her.

So, firstly, we need absolute confirmation than husband & wife do have the same Apple ID as suggested in the post.

There are ways of determining that each person gets only their own Messages.

Solution 1. In Settings > Messages > iMessage > Send & Receive > "You can receive iMessages to and reply from" > Each person lists only their own mobile number along with the Apple ID. Below this "Start New Conversations From" - again lists only their own number and same ID.

In effect this means changing the ownership of the iPhones & iPads such that one of the two of them is technically the owner of all devices. Person A has "Me" as the owner on all the iDevices.

This works, but a possibly easier option:

Option 2. Whichever partner has NOT got a personal Apple ID, gets one and each partner "Shares" such data as Calendar, contacts whatever.

There's more to this, but that's a start

Ian

 

[tobindia]

Do you each have individual AppleID accounts? And if you check in Messages on the MBA, are you using the same telephone number/AppleID on each device? If so, that's how it's happening.

We both use the same AppleID, and we have used the same AppleID since Day 1.

I didn't even know that there was a Messages app on my MBA until now. I see it under /Applications, but I never used it. I'm not sure that now is the time to "turn it on." Should I?

 

[IWT]

See my post above.

Ian

 

[tobindia]

So, firstly, we need absolute confirmation than husband & wife do have the same Apple ID as suggested in the post.

Yes, we both use the same AppleID.

.Solution 1. In Settings > Messages > iMessage > Send & Receive > "You can receive iMessages to and reply from" > Each person lists only their own mobile number along with the Apple ID. Below this "Start New Conversations From" - again lists only their own number and same ID.

This would seem to work, so why go to the trouble of creating a second AppleID? What are the pros and cons? All devices share the same Calendar, Contacts, Music, and iCloud. We have a real mish-mash with Photos, but that's a story for a later day. We also use the same email for most things, but that's on Yahoo. I'm not against creating a 2nd AppleID as long as we can continue to share, but what's the advantage?

 

[ferrarr]

It has to do with the phone numbers associated with each device. Somehow they are both receiving each others messages. Look in Settings > Messages > Send & Receive and make sure the correct number is listed.

 

[tobindia]

Look in Settings > Messages > Send & Receive and make sure the correct number is listed.

Both phones had both of our phone numbers and assorted email addresses (all were ours, past and present). I cleaned them up, so that my phone only uses my number, etc. I’ll have tested tomorrow to be sure, but I’ll thank you in advance.

There is still the question though of whether or not I should create create a separate AppleID for my wife. Any thoughts?

 

[IWT]

This would seem to work, so why go to the trouble of creating a second AppleID?

Good point. If my first suggestion works (which is how my wife & I did things for some years), then stick with it.

I only mentioned the alternative to give you some choice in the matter

Ian