ad i made for school club....comments

[Evermore]

http://www.evasive-media.com/tech-maylanparty.jpg

Ok that is a ad I made for my Tech Club at school for a LAN party they are hosting. Just wanted to see first off,

what you guys think of hte overall poster?
and also is it clear what its for to you guys? if not what should i change/add the make it clearer what its for.

also the club is called VHS Tech Club....

thanks in advance

Evermore

 

[iKitten]

Wow! I think it looks really good. (I nearly overlooked the price of admission and time in the lower left corner, fwiw.) Great job!

 

[OSURico112]

looks like a great ad. Awesome work.

 

[Brown Study]

AtDoor one word?

 

[johntalin]

I think b&w is a good choice when silhuettes are placed in good positions in the ad. Good work.

 

[coach_z]

i like it a lot, a few suggestions would have been to have the guitar dudes body facing the camera more to show the guitar better and have his face in the same direction, yes he will look like he's looking over his shoulder but it would look fine

with the guy sitting down it would be cool to see two defined arms and the same with the legs...mostly because he kind of looks like a blob with a head...

catch what im trying to say??? but overall i still think it would be fine if you went ahead and printed it
-chris

 

[dtownley1]

it's a pretty clear design. I'd do more with the type though. It looks a little last minute. It's clear enough, but I think it should be part of the design, and not just filling a corner where a little space happened to be.
If the 'Game Right' is supposed to be a TV, the angle of the gamer doesn't quite match - it appears as if he's looking at a TV outside the composition. Also, I think he needs to be sitting on something.

Finally, I don't think the VHS font suits. Script fonts are very hard to work with. I think I mentioned this to another member here, that they're best left for wedding invitations, and wedding invitations only. It doesn't look very high tech - not really suited to what I imagine your target audience is. I'd suggest expanding your font library.

If you're stuck for ideas, flipping through some design mags (not photoshop mags!!) at your local newsagent could bring the inspiration you need.

I think it's a good start, but would need tweaking here and there to really grab the eye. Perhaps another colour for some of the type? As it stands now, my eye gets lost in the black shapes concentrated in the middle. I think it needs some kind of hierarchy in it.

 

[Odin_aa]

Nice looking work, it took me a minute to determine what the guy playing a video game was doing...but I am not a gamer.

The pointed out "AtDoor" does look like one word instead of two.

It looks to be square format, will you be printing it in that ratio? If not you do have some more room to work giving the "AtDoor" and other information in the lower left corner some breathing room.

 

[Michaelmigz]

Nice work andy! The only thing i recommend is the script font. as the guy above said before, it dosent seem technical enough.

 

[Evermore]

ok, i updated it a bit and changed the text like you guys though, looks much better....here is the udpated version:
http://www.evasive-media.com/tech-maylanparty.jpg

i also changed it from game right to lan party just so the message is really clear for what the poster is for.

 

[druminstar182]

I am a communications design major at SU and we are pretty picky about design, and i actually like ur ad. the text is fine, you want to draw people's attention with something simple, which you did with the image. doing anymore would ruin your nice simplicity, i can easy tell what the event is because of the the imagery, i could recognize the image right away, the only thing is I am not sure where this event is, i see the what, i see when, i just don't see where, but maybe because of your situation it is already obvious where it is because the club is well known, in that case then you're all set. nice job. and trust me a compliment from someone in my major is a big thing

 

[Evermore]

ah thanks man
i appreciate it, and yeah people already know where this event is located and it only for inside the school so we didn't need a place. also what is college is SU? cuase i am a Junior in high school now and looking at colleges for marketing or this sort of stuff.

 

[chicago]

The ad is too loose. You're missing detail in your illustration. For instance... the frame around "Lan Party" isn't defined enough. You're going for a 3D appearance yet you're missing some of the detail to complete it. Pay more attention to your light source. How is the light going to affect the shading on the surfaces of the frame?

So is there going to be a band there? If not.. what's the purpose of the guitar?

Do you guys play the same games at every one of your lan parties? If not, then perhaps putting what games will played on the poster will help draw the right crowd.

Your typography isn't working with the illustration. It looks like someone is just throwing it in. It specifically looks like the illustration was printed first then someone later came along and put some copy on it through word and their laser printer.

The "LAN PARTY" bothers me. It's because LAN is soooo loose on the tracking/kerning. L A N bothers me immensely.

But, for your purpose... it'll probably work for what you're wanting it to if you are just wanting to attract those who normally go to the party. But, if you're wanting non-goers to come, you'll need to make it more interesting and step it up.

 

[Martin.]

the guy sitting with the controller looks fat because there is no definition beween his arms and legs. looks good but i am aso bothered by the "L A N", maybe make it bigger and delete the spaces.

 

[rs2sensen]

Looks pretty good overall, you definitely have a good start. A lot of the suggestions above are good, but be careful to maintain your own personal style with the advertisement. I've been in design for quite some time, and I think that some of the worst work I've seen has been from people who recently have gotten out of some form of design classes (recently as in within the past 5 years). In a design class, they teach you certain rules to follow. At some point, we realize the design rules only take away from style, originality, and art. There is a time to break the rules, and in some ways, I think you can be allowed to do that.

Here's one rule I wouldn't break, in this case... Overall, your text isn't bad, but it can be much better. Whenever I do an advertisement, you want to incorporate the design around your contact information, be it a phone number, email address, or website address. I think the web address in your site needs to be considerably larger. Try putting the website in different places on the design, and then increase it's size 10fold. The rest...that all falls together on its own.

 

[eric06]

I think that some of the worst work I've seen has been from people who recently have gotten out of some form of design classes (recently as in within the past 5 years). In a design class, they teach you certain rules to follow. At some point, we realize the design rules only take away from style, originality, and art. There is a time to break the rules, and in some ways, I think you can be allowed to do that.

That is true. I am a 1st yr graphic design student and I am told a lot to change things because my style is nothing like my professors. 90% of time I don't change my concept to fit her style or what she would do.

 

[rs2sensen]

That is true. I am a 1st yr graphic design student and I am told a lot to change things because my style is nothing like my professors. 90% of time I don't change my concept to fit her style or what she would do.

Sometimes a dangerous game to play, depending on the professor...but, I'm glad you know what I mean. Too many design schools turn out robots, it's why there are so many crappy designers out there, unfortunately.

 

[eric06]

Sometimes a dangerous game to play, depending on the professor...but, I'm glad you know what I mean. Too many design schools turn out robots, it's why there are so many crappy designers out there, unfortunately.

I will be going to UNC in Colorado, once I get my generals done at a junior college and when I met with them they told me their teaching style is outside the box unlike most the design schools.