On being offended
Jack Crenshaw Jack Crenshaw
December 21, 2004
Enough already with people who are easily offended! The Declaration of Independence says that we have a God-given right to "the pursuit of happiness." It doesn't say anything about the right to not be offended, and for good reason.
Many years ago, my first marriage was falling apart. I'll spare you the gory details, but I worried that it was my fault; that I had somehow let my wife down by not being attentive enough to her needs and her happiness. One day I wrote her a note saying that I was prepared to spend the rest of my life making her happiness my top priority.
It seemed an innocent enough promise; perhaps even noble. But my wife took it as a blank check. Whatever she wanted, all she had to do was to demand it, and look unhappy, and my vow obliged me to provide it.
You can guess how things ended. Despite what I considered to be my best efforts, my wife became less and less happy. She got unhappy at the most trivial things, leaving me scrambling to correct them.
In the end, I walked away. My wife wailed, "You promised me you were going to make me happy, and you haven't done it."
In my best Clark Gable imitation, I said, "Frankly, my dear, I don't think it's possible."
Turn now to the people who are easily offended; who seem to make a career out of being offended. How much of an obligation do the rest of us have to see that they are not?
It seems patently obvious that being offended is a state of mind of the offendee, not the offender. I can make all my best efforts to keep from offending someone, but does this guarantee that they won't be offended? Of course not. In the end, I have no control over whether they are offended or not, because their state of mind is their state of mind, not mine. It's pretty obvious that someone who is determined to be offended can be so, regardless of how far we go to prevent it.
That being the case, why should we bother?
The current insanity known as Political Correctness probably began innocently enough, and with noble enough intentions: Let's not be insensitive to the feelings of others. Let's not use racial or ethnic slurs, or otherwise say or do things that offend others.
What we didn't count on was that, like my ex, certain people would use that sentiment to make unreasonable demands on the rest of us. They became professional offendees.
It's one thing to be offended because one isn't allowed to vote, or live in a certain neighborhood, or hold a certain job; that's what the Civil Rights movement was all about, and it was a noble cause. But it's quite another to be offended because someone else has a Christmas tree. It's quite another to be offended by the very sight of the word Christmas. Because someone else gets pleasure out of celebrating a religious holiday, gives no one else the right to be offended by their joy. Being thin-skinned is bad enough; going out of one's way to find something to be offended by is much worse.
As we rapidly approach the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, I plan to put up a Christmas tree. Not a "winter tree." Not a "holiday tree." A Christmas tree, complete with lights shaped like stars, and an angel on top. You have a problem with that? Get over it.
I plan to share the joy. I plan to spread wishes of "Merry Christmas" to anyone within earshot. You have a problem with that? Get over it. Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving and loving, of Good Will to All. To the Scrooges of the world who can't look at a Christmas tree or a creche without being offended — in fact, to the professional offendees of all stripes, I can only repeat the line from the movie, "Princess Bride":
Get used to disappointment.
I'm done trying to avoid offending you. Frankly, my dear, I don't think it's possible. You want me to give up all the beliefs, practices, and celebrations that make me happy. And that offends me.