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Try these Sue,Reading through this (again) with interest.
Today I was trying to help a friend transfer photos from her camera to her iPhone and/or her iPad. The problem is that the iPad was gifted by her ex-husband but he couldn't remember his Apple password so she is using it as if it were still his. Added to this she can't remember the Apple password for her phone (to be able to download the photo software using via wifi).
If she does a factory reset on either will she be able to start from scratch? If she could get them synchronised life would be so much easier.
In the meantime I paired my phone with her camera and used AirDrop to send the images to her phone and iPad - but it's rather convoluted!
If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support
If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support
See if either of them will help your friend?