Please visit the new Mac-Forums Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/macforums1




Results 1 to 12 of 12
  1. #1
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    I teach highschool, and this year our district switched to all apple computers. I am thrilled, its been a long time coming. However, tommorrow I am sure I am going to hear alot of "i hate macs" bla bla bla. What I am looking for is some good comebacks I can use throughout the day. Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    D3v1L80Y's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 02, 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    12,456
    Your Mac's Specs
    MacBook
    Rep Power
    28
    Why do you even need 'comebacks'?
    I would just ignore someone who feels the need to complain. So what if they do say "Macs suck"? As long as I am the one enjoying it, then what does it matter what someone else feels? Even if they do feel the need to vent their dislike, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me. Especially if you are the teacher, feeling the need to make 'comebacks' would only serve to start a flaming argument and a lot of uneccessary griping and bickering. :black:
    __________________________________________________
    Posting and YOU|Forum Community Guidelines|The Apple Product Cycle|Forum Courtesy

    mac: a waterproof raincoat made of rubberized fabric
    MAC: a data communication protocol sub-layer, also known as the Media Access Control
    Mac: a brand name which covers several lines of personal computers designed, developed, and marketed by Apple Inc.


  3. #3
    just trying to lighten the mood on the 1st day of school, thats all

  4. #4
    I'm sure there will be a lot of interested in the 'new' computers.

    Once your students start using the new macs, they might nag their parents to buy one for home. :biohazard

  5. #5
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    rman's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 24, 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    12,594
    Your Mac's Specs
    2 x 3.0GHz Quad-Core, 6GB OS X 10.7.5 | 15in MacBook Pro 2.2GHz OS X 10.11.6 | 64GB iPad 2 WiFi
    Rep Power
    25
    Cool Broccoli
    God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and
    green and yellow Vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
    long and healthy lives.

    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
    double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with
    that?" And Man said, "Super-size them." And Man gained pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
    that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
    chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And
    woman gained pounds.

    And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth
    creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice
    cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

    And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
    with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak
    so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad
    cholesterol went through the roof.

    And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those
    extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
    Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
    And Man gained pounds.

    And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

    And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
    brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and
    sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he
    created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
    potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

    And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...!

    And Satan created HMOs...

    And God created the Mac (but Steve took all the credit). And Satan
    created the_______________...
    Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain!

  6. #6
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    MacMania55's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 18, 2006
    Posts
    443
    Your Mac's Specs
    20" iMac 2.16 ghz. 1 gb ram. 250 GB HDD. Screamer! 2gb ipod nano. 17 in powerbook G4 1.67/1 Gb/120gb
    Rep Power
    14
    I think i know what kinda teacher your trying to be. The cool and jokeful one. I think that is a nice way to teach. Keeps everyone relaxed and comftorable. GOOD LUCK MAN!
    MacMania55

  7. #7
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    surfwax95's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 27, 2005
    Location
    Fayetteville, AR
    Posts
    2,406
    Your Mac's Specs
    15" Powerbook G4 24" iMac iPhone 3Gs
    Rep Power
    17
    What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord?



    My a**.
    I try to Command+Shift+/ when I can.
    They're - Their - There | Two - Too - To | You're - Your | MAC - Mac
    I was on the M-F honor roll for October, 2006.

  8. #8
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    ThaXStank's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jan 01, 2006
    Posts
    72
    Your Mac's Specs
    Hackintosh ,Quad, Editing Machine
    Rep Power
    14
    anyone who bashes mac's i allways ask why do you hate macs , it's usually mindless idiots that make comments like that , people into computers realize their just computers

  9. #9
    APPLE VS. MICROSOFT

    Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

    "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple employee.

    They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

    The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

    The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to do the same on the return trip and save some money.

    When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple employees don't buy any ticket, at all.

    "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple employee.

    When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and the three Apple employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

    Shortly afterward, one of the Apple employees leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."


  10. #10
    HELP I need Mac Jokes
    deus_ex_machina's Avatar
    Member Since
    Aug 06, 2004
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    1,713
    Your Mac's Specs
    2GHz Mac Mini 2GB RAM 160GB 10.6.2 | MDD DP 1.25GHz G4 1.5GB RAM 10.4.11 | 233MHz iMac G3 10.3.9
    Rep Power
    15
    Quote Originally Posted by Pulse-8
    APPLE VS. MICROSOFT

    Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

    "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple employee.

    They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

    The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

    The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to do the same on the return trip and save some money.

    When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple employees don't buy any ticket, at all.

    "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple employee.

    When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and the three Apple employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

    Shortly afterward, one of the Apple employees leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

    haha

  11. #11
    Anti-Wack
    Guest
    That's hilarious^^.

    edit..

    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.

    The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I?

    To this, the solitary office worker replies with a sign "You're in a plane."

    The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

    "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a short distance away."

  12. #12
    haha! I love these.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. HELP I need Mac Jokes
    By ChiLLot in forum Switcher Hangout
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-27-2006, 10:34 PM
  2. Jokes
    By rman in forum Schweb's Lounge
    Replies: 116
    Last Post: 08-18-2006, 11:35 PM
  3. Jokes?
    By washablemarker in forum Schweb's Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-18-2006, 11:19 PM
  4. Windows (or Mac) Jokes
    By shaun89 in forum Schweb's Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-26-2004, 10:36 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •