Need feedback on a sales pitch

agentgreg · Dec 1, 2007

Hey guys. I am in the midst of doing some research for a new website/product I want to launch and I need some feedback. I wrote an initial sales pitch for the product/idea and I want you guys to tell me what you think. Thanks!

Note: this is not spam as I am not posting any links or actually selling anything as this is just a pitch for a product/idea that hasn't yet materialized.

Imagine if you could do all your family’s grocery shopping for the week in 25 minutes flat – while saving a small fortune on gas.

Imagine being able to mail everyone you know a holiday postcard for every holiday in the year – and rekindle old friendships – in about 15 minutes per year.

Imagine saving hundreds, even thousands of dollars, on everything you buy, all year round.

Imagine settling disputes with utilities and other companies in minutes rather than spending hours on the phone.

Finally, imagine being able to live the lifestyle you want – not the one you now barley have time for.

How much would such freedom be worth to you?

It’s not about getting rich quick, in fact this has nothing to do with making obscene amounts – or any amounts – of money at all.

It’s about an innovative approach to time management that will allow you to be independent of your daily routine and live a hassle-free life.

All it takes is a can do spirit and some practical skills, which I will teach you, to have the piece of mind and free time that you’ve always wanted.

So ask yourself again, how much would such freedom be worth to you?

bobtomay · Dec 1, 2007

1) will let you find the spelling errors yourself - at least two of them

2) "independent of your daily routine" - something either is or is not a part of a daily routine.

3) The whole thing sounds like every other scam $29, $59, $79 etc. money grabbing idea to sell a 10, 20, 30 page booklet. If you have a real product to sell, show me the product and then tell me what it does. Most of us don't need all the garbage hoopla for something that is worth our hard earned cash.

"How much would this xyz be worth to you?", in combination with not showing me the product is telling me right up front, that what I am going to be receiving is not worth the asking price.

It's like an advertisement for all the people out there depressed with their lot in life and offering to cure all their ills by stealing what little money they have.

Why not put all this effort into a real, tangible product.

Just my 2 cents.

the8thark · Dec 1, 2007

Personally I like the product to sell itself to me. I think rather than telling how much the product will improve my life, just tell me how great the product actually is. And if it's as wiz bang as you hope it to be then it'll just sell itself and the customer will make it work in their lives.

agentgreg · Dec 1, 2007

Thanks for the feedback so far.

Well this would be just a part of a sales pitch, clearly not the full one. The purpose of this portion is to get you to read more.

Does what you see make you want to read more about what this could be?

As far as it sounding like most other pitches online, well that is kind of true, I am modeling it after the "infomercial" websites, which are proven sellers and profit generators for their owners. One of the things I've learned when researching internet marketing is that if something is around for a while and increasing in numbers, it generally means it works.

Same goes for advertisements. When you see those classified ads that ask you to send for some information or pay a few bucks for something about getting rich quick and stuff, and they are always in every classified section year round, it generally means they work. Otherwise the person paying to have that ad in there wouldn't be wasting their money THAT long.

Need feedback on a sales pitch

agentgreg

bobtomay

,

the8thark

agentgreg

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