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If Microsoft had invented books...

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1. Before you can open the cover of your new book, you must obtain a book activation code by phoning Microsoft.

2. Sorry, only one person may ever read your book.

3. It's full of spelling mistakes and typos.

4. When you're reading your book, the type can mysteriously disappear.

5. Libraries, which are for sharing books, are illegal.

6. You must acknowledge you have read and understood the Book License Agreement Hype (BLAH) before you can read your book.

7. Microsoft has the right to enter your premises to conduct book inspections to make sure your book is being read in accordance with the BLAH.

8. The Book Users' Group General Alliance (BUGGA) calculates that the annual loss of revenues to Microsoft arising from BLAH violations in 2001 was $10.97 billion.

9. There are two versions of your book - the "Standard" and the "Pro" versions. In the standard version, those pages containing the most useful information have been stuck together.

10. At random times the letters your book may suddenly scramble for no apparent reason. Simply give the book a good kicking - this is called rebooting.


found this at jokefile.co.uk :)

i think it's very true
thought you guys might like it
 
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I love that one. Here's one I like as well:

If Microsoft made cars:


1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Department.

12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
 
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That's hilarious. Great find. :D
 
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Haha, I think number 6 on the cars one should be amended.
 
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Hey guys someone on this forum was complaining about the hatred toward Mac's,

I'm still a Windows user,,,,,,,,,, but I still laughed!
 

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