Focusing on the stuck disc for a moment, have you tried this:
Turn the laptop so that the disk drive slot is facing downwards (balancing the non-disk portion of the laptop on a table is often helpful) and try the disk eject trick I described before again. Gravity may be able to budge the thing a little further so that you can grab the disk with your fingers (it might even just fall out).
Now then, about the Firewire port: if you have one, and a Firewire cable and access to another Mac, you can connect the two machines together via the cable. Turn on the "bad" machine and hold down the T key and keep holding it till you get a giant firewire symbol on screen.
The other Mac should then be able to "see" the bad Mac's hard drive as though it was an external drive, allowing you to run utility programs on it or just recover the important files (the latter being the first priority I think).