People should really learn to log out of Myspace and Facebook

Ok, so today one of my past girlfriends came over after her class to sit around so she woudln't have to drive out of town and back, so she just chilled at my place. Meanwhile she needed to do some hoemwork on the computer. I showed her how to use tabbed browsing in Camino and everything like that. Well after about an hour i had to go to class, and she stayed since she didn't have class in like another hour or so. I told her that when she was done just put my MBP back in my room so my roomates don't damage it.

I get back from class and open up my MBP, and see that she left the browser window open, with her Myspace messages in one tab, and Facebook messages in another. I mean I'm not one to invade on other people's privacy, I don't go searching through people's rooms or anything but some of the subjects of those messages caught my eye. Turns out my ex doesnt' tell the truth very well. Last April she apparently had sex one night while being drunk with some other guy, the thing is, neither one of them were single at the time (she wasn't dating me, some other guy). She kept talking about how she was so happy that it finally happened and everything. I found out about it this summer, but she told me a completely different story about how it was a "drunken mistake" and it didn't mean anything. After reading further I found out that the guy had to tell her to quit texting his phone, sending him emails and messages becuase his gf is suspicious.

Her Facebook had messages that she sent to old bfs telling them how they should hang out again sometime. I just can't believe that she's doing this, by throwing herself out there at so many guys. You might think that I'm jealous becuase I want her back or something, but not by any means. For a long time i was unable to get over her, but now after I have finally found the truth about all the lies she has told me, just to keep me being her friend. Funny thing is, I am the only guy she has dated and stayed close friends with. I guess I'm too trusting. Sorry but I had to tell someone about what just happened to me today. I can't believe how I can go from caring for someone so much, to just ...not respecting them almost at all.

Your thoughts?

Ouch, sorry you had to find out that way and sorry she doesn't know the rules of shutting down browsers on Macs. Anyways I went through that with a girl. Turns out she had slept with a lot more guys than she had told me. None of my friends even told me till it was too late. I say hi to her every once in a while but we are no longer good friends or anything because I found out some shady things about her that I won't really disclose here. Anyways, been with my current girlfriend for a while now and she is a lot more respectful of herself.

I would say just let it go and learn from it. At least it wasn't you she did that to. I know you probably feel bad for the other guy. But remember for every bad person there is a good one so don't stop trusting just be cautious.

I can't really stop all contact with her by any means (even though I really think that woudl be the best thing) since all my other friends/roomates are good friends with her. She's one of those girls who will move from different groups of friends, but tries to stay friends with the ones she's left. Like all of my friends. She always says she'll come and party at our house, well she comes..for like an hour and then leaves to go party elsewhere, the sad part is that she acutally thinks that we all care...but no one really notices she leaves. I've stopped calling her quite a long time ago, she calls me every now and then, but she'll realize soon that none of us really don't go out of our way to talk to her.

todd51 said:

I mean I'm not one to invade on other people's privacy, I don't go searching through people's rooms or anything but some of the subjects of those messages caught my eye....
Your thoughts?

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Since you asked, here is my two cents:

To be very frank (and I mean no offense to you personally), isn't it just as bad to rebroadcast someone else's "dirty laundry" on a public forum as it is to read someone's personal messages?
I understand that you may have feelings for this person... but anonymous or not, you have released quite a bit of this person's private issues that perhaps they didn't want to share. Yes, they were careless and left sites logged in, but that doesn't mean that it should be made open to the public on an internet forum.

isn't it just as bad to rebroadcast someone else's "dirty laundry" on a public forum as it is to read someone's personal messages?

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Good thought, I had never thought about it that way. I would yes consider it just as bad, IF that person visited the forums, or if someone they knew other than me looked at these forums. Since I am the only one of my friends that even looks up anything having to do with computers (my friends check ESPN and Facebook, that's it) or Macs, I dont' think it's that bad in this case. She will never know that I saw them, nor will my friends ever know what she has done. I'm not the person to call her out on it in front of everyone. I just had to let someone know and I couldn't even dare tell any of my friends. I also wanted to know if anyone else had gone through something similar to this and how they handled it. More or less I was looking for a bit of advice.

I see it no different than writing on a blog that's public but that's just my opinion. Anything Goes...

He hasn't disclosed names or his name for that matter so it is harmless venting. Maybe I am wrong?

But yeah keep this between you and yourself for sure. Let it be one of those slaps in the face that you let go. On issues like that I talk to my sister b/c she always gives me good advice and I know she won't go babble to the world. I disagree with people that may tell you to keep it to yourself totally because stuff can eat at you. Just talk to somebody you really trust.

Anyways good luck and maybe one day the friendship does work out for the better.

Ouch, it's always harsh to be let down by someone you trust/trusted...

A lot of times girls feel inadequate for some reason.

I'd hate to sound like a quack psychiatrist but if you dig a little deeper I garuntee that would come up one way or another.

Wow. I had a similar experience once.

We're a group of around 5 guys, and there was this relationship we suspected one of us had, let's call him Juan. Now Juan and... "Delilah"..... always denied having anything when asked separately, and we thought they're just feeling up. So one night we 5 watched a DVD and Juan said he needed to quickly use my computer (A Windows box that time). Well he was using MSN and messaging some people including Delilah, and he didn't think that I, as a total IRC geek, had built in a chat logging plugin and logged it all. The moron used my MSN account to chat (since we have many common friends).

Turns out (we 4 read the log later because we wondered why he was on the PC rather then watching lord of the rings) ... turns out they were hiding it all and sleeping with each other every other occasion, deceiving us all. Hurt us coz we lost trust in him.