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HELP I need Mac Jokes

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I teach highschool, and this year our district switched to all apple computers. I am thrilled, its been a long time coming. However, tommorrow I am sure I am going to hear alot of "i hate macs" bla bla bla. What I am looking for is some good comebacks I can use throughout the day. Thanks in advance!
 
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Why do you even need 'comebacks'?
I would just ignore someone who feels the need to complain. So what if they do say "Macs suck"? As long as I am the one enjoying it, then what does it matter what someone else feels? Even if they do feel the need to vent their dislike, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me. Especially if you are the teacher, feeling the need to make 'comebacks' would only serve to start a flaming argument and a lot of uneccessary griping and bickering. :black:
 
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I'm sure there will be a lot of interested in the 'new' computers.

Once your students start using the new macs, they might nag their parents to buy one for home. :biohazard
 

rman


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Broccoli

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and
green and yellow Vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with
that?" And Man said, "Super-size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And
woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth
creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice
cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he
created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...!

And Satan created HMOs...

And God created the Mac (but Steve took all the credit). And Satan
created the_______________...
 
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I think i know what kinda teacher your trying to be. The cool and jokeful one. I think that is a nice way to teach. Keeps everyone relaxed and comftorable. GOOD LUCK MAN!
 
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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord?



My a**.
 
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anyone who bashes mac's i allways ask why do you hate macs , it's usually mindless idiots that make comments like that , people into computers realize their just computers
 
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APPLE VS. MICROSOFT​

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple employee.

They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to do the same on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple employees don't buy any ticket, at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple employee.

When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and the three Apple employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the Apple employees leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

 
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Pulse-8 said:
APPLE VS. MICROSOFT​

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple employee.

They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to do the same on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple employees don't buy any ticket, at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple employee.

When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and the three Apple employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the Apple employees leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."


haha :)
 
A

Anti-Wack

Guest
That's hilarious^^.

edit..

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.

The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I?

To this, the solitary office worker replies with a sign "You're in a plane."

The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

"Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a short distance away."
 

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