Broccoli
God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and
green and yellow Vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with
that?" And Man said, "Super-size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And
woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth
creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice
cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he
created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...!
And Satan created HMOs...
And God created the Mac (but Steve took all the credit). And Satan
created the_______________...