What do you (will you) call your in-laws?

So, if you don't have in-laws, pick the answer that you think you'll use to address them. If you aren't married, but know your significant other's parents well, you'll have to comment in a post if you think how you address them would change in the event of a wedding taking place.

I'm not married, but I will most likely either call them by their first name or avoid using their names.

First name basis. They're not my parents, I refuse to use the terms "mom & dad" for anyone other than MY mom & dad. I think I may have slipped and called his grandma "grandma" a few times, but I don't have a problem with that because she's a nice old lady and I already have two grandmas anyway so why not a 3rd!

Mum for the female of the inlay, and first name for the Dad. Calling mum, mum will go down well with the missus and she will see your comfortable wither and the family, and dad because thats manly to do. Thats the way i do it, even with girlfriends. I always call her mum, mum and they all love it

This will vary for different kinds of people. I very happily call my wife's mother "mom". It feels natural. I love her very much, and to be honest, I even like her more than my own mother. Some of us have parents whom aren't exactly the nicest people in the world, and whether or not that sounds nice, it's just the reality of it.

It also depends on how close you feel with your in-laws. Not everybody will feel that way, so just do what feels right, and don't worry so much about a title.

Doug

Doug b said:

...I even like her more than my own mother. Some of us have parents whom aren't exactly the nicest people in the world, and whether or not that sounds nice, it's just the reality of it.

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You know what they say..."You can pick your friends...but you can't pick your relatives!"

I have a number of relatives I could do without!

- Nick

Doug b said:

This will vary for different kinds of people. ...
It also depends on how close you feel with your in-laws. Not everybody will feel that way, so just do what feels right, and don't worry so much about a title.

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Of course. I'm just curious what other people do. I go with the avoidance mostly, once in awhile I used the Grand route when our kids were young. Now I have a daughter-in-law, and she wanted to know how she should address me, and my wife of course. I said not "Mr. ___" for sure. So, with no grandkids, that left first name or Dad. When she writes (like in a card) she uses "Dad" - with the quotes. In person it's avoidance, which is fine.

Last if at all possible, second to last if my daughter is around, and by their names in polite company.

If it's family, I don't like. I'll probably refer to them as "those people".

I call my MIL "Mom" as she seems to like it best and she told me to do so once my wife and I became engaged long ago. She's 87 and I'm more interested in what makes her feel good than whatever hangups or baggage I have associated with names or salutations. We have little in common and even less to talk about, so I figure if calling her "Mom" gives some sort of satisfaction to the relationship for her, so much the better. I was raised with the whole "respect your elders" 10 commandments thing, so I'd probably call her whatever she wanted me to. ****, it's free so why not?

First name bases because calling them Mr. & Mrs is really way too formal. You are part of the family whether they like it or not. XD Plus they aren't your parents so I wouldn't call them mom & dad unless you are really close and your parents died or something.

I regard this as a family forum, so I will not say.

As I have respect for my elders I will call them mom and dad, My first wife was Chinese and the second was Japanese and in both cultures you call the in-laws mum and dad.

Honour and respect first in my books.

I call them by their first names, but it still feels a little awkward to me because I rarely address them that way and never took the initiative to first it out early on.

My opinion, if you still are in the early stages, is to call them Mr. and Mrs. "last name" and then let them correct you and tell you how to address them. If it's been almost 3 years like it has been for me, I have no idea, but would take the advice of others too!

fleurya said:

I call them by their first names, but it still feels a little awkward to me because I rarely address them that way and never took the initiative to first it out early on.

My opinion, if you still are in the early stages, is to call them Mr. and Mrs. "last name" and then let them correct you and tell you how to address them. If it's been almost 3 years like it has been for me, I have no idea, but would take the advice of others too!

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No one has voted for Mr. and Mrs. Sweetie's parents. I think perhaps that is appropriate when meeting the parents prior to or after a first date, and throughout courtship, to use an antiquated term. But once the relationship between you and this couple's offspring goes beyond the "just dating" stage, that would become awkward.

I'm at the stage that my kids have grown up and are not with us when we visit my in-laws, so the old "Grand" approach doesn't fly any more. Having never called my in-laws by their first names, I'm not about to start that now.

I guess it depends on your relationship. My mother and father in law suggested mom and dad right off the bat. And, they have been a second set of arena to me ever since, treating me like a son.

My own kids' spouses I consider my kids too and they call us mom and dad (or some reasonable variant).