Mac Mail driving me nuts!

Once before I posted on this problem but never really got a solution and now it seems to be back again with a vengeance.
Mail is giving me no end of trouble. To start out with I have to close and open it again several times a day just to make sure that all my mail has come in and in spite of selecting 'get mail' and which says there is nothing new, mail pops up from nowhere and some of it having been sent from the day before.

Now - I also have to open and close Mail just to send an email or a reply. The app keeps giving me the usual "server" message and then says do I want to send with the selected server? and which is the same server I was using in the first place. Someone did suggest once that it was not a Mail problem but a server issue, but if that is the case, then why do I not have a problem sending email using the same server from my iPhone and why do none of the server accounts that I have set up in Mail work when that issue occurs? I don't want to have to keep sending my mail from iGoogle and I should not have to, but if I need to send something to someone in a hurry then that is the only way I can.

I have not gone to the Apple store as yet with my problem as while some of their staff are good, sadly they are not all genisus' and I have been frustrated mightily in the past. Beyond frustrated with this!! I also checked to see if I could just reinstall Mail but not sure how to go about that???
Thank you so much for any feedback and hope all had a Merry Xmas.

Try thunderbird or eudora - and with the same settings on the same mac - to see if it has a problem. That way you can tell if it is the computer. If all the programs exhibit the same problem it could be something on your computer.
Eudora Download
Mozilla Thunderbird

Do you have any AV, Firewall, security, etc software that could be causing a problem?

No - no security other than what came with the computer. Will try your suggestions toute suite and see what's up. Hope you keep checking my lil ole post here as I really do need the help before the computer and I both end up looking like one of those cartoons where you see arms and legs and stars shooting out from a cloud of dust! )
Ta ever so much

I have found that are mail server at work will suddenly stop sending mail with the message to try selected server again

Turning off SSL for the outgoing server fixes the issue so give that a try and see what happens

By the way "Ta ever so much" sounds like a northern england expression, odd coming from someone in Miami

First things first - My dad was from Northumberland - Alnwick to precise and I went to school both in Harrogate and London so while the accent is very "Trinidadian" (confusing isn't it) the expressions are still Brit to the core! Twenty four years in Miami and I still have to think twice when asking someone to pop the bonnet rather than their hood. I get the oddest expressions! LOL
Re the mail issue. I have tried your suggestion (stepped out for a bit so have not as yet had the time to download either of the other suggestions from Mr. Lasston) and so far so good. I am going to keep my fingers and toes crossed that it continues to behave. Thank you to all here on the forum for always coming up with the most helpful solutions and a Happy New Year and fun filled Ole Year's night to you all.

And it's back! Worked last night and now this morning I am back to having to close mail and reopen it in the middle of sending just to get it to go. Sigh... it really is beyond frustrating. Everyone I know both friends and clients are familiar with my aol address, I don't want to have to keep sending mail using my Google address via Google or having to log into aol via the web in order to send mail, that is just plain silly. Apparently however I have no other choice.
Thanks again for responding and trying.
Cheers

Are you using Pop or imap for you AOL account? I would recommend imap if you aren't using it. If you are using it - and it is giving you this trouble - then I would try Pop and see if that helps (just to debug but I really don't recommend Pop)

Also did you follow the proper settings for outgonig?
What Are the AOL Mail SMTP Settings? - About Email
Don't know how right that article is.

What's odd is that I have been using Mail for the past four years and never had a problem until this started around five (I'm guessing - time flies) months ago. I have not changed any settings and in answer to your questions:
1. Definitely IMAP
2, The only other thing that I see different based on the article is that the port I use (or Mail chose to use) is 143
3. The SMTP settings are: [email protected] and the same for my other two email accounts with gmail and yahoo.
I would be inclined to think that it was the server if there was a problem sending from either my iPhone or another PC that we have in the house. Both of those send like a charm.
It would not bother me as annoying as it is as I would just keep on closing and opening mail, but sometimes I have a client sitting on the other end waiting for either a response or a response with an attachment and its very embarassing to have them ring me over and over and say "But it's not here yet?"

OK - starting to think I am definitely nuts since no one else seems to be having a problem - but... for what little it is worth, this is what I have been experiencing recently and it is bad for business.
Please note the sent and received times? It makes absolutely no sense since an email that was sent (several actually) just minutes later from the same sender was received in the normal time frame... sigh. And so - I hereby throw in the proverbial towel. ;P