newbie question on itunes

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Hi folks. I have been lurking and learning for a couple of weeks since I switched to a mbp. Two HP's in a row that were fried due to powerjack issues. Both were about a week out of warranty. Never again.

Anyway, my question is this. Both my wife and I have ipad2's. Before I realized how a singular apple ID is used for iTunes purchases, I bought some apps on my ID, and my wife bought some on her ID. I have since switched my iTunes ID to hers, since her ID is the one associated with iTunes on the mbp (our main ID for lack of a better term). I had initially synced with iTunes and it went well, apps showed up in iTunes, etc. My wifes apps never showed up in iTunes on the mbp. I transferred them over this morning based on some info in a thread, and that seems to work. Here are my questions / issues:

1. For some reason, my apps show up no problem in the iTunes account that was not used to by the apps (these are the first apps I bought with my apple ID before I switched). These show up in the "family" iTunes account. Im OK with this, it just doesn't make sense necessarily. Can the family use these apps that I downloaded with my ID?

2. My wife's apps did not show up in the family iTunes account (even though she would have bought them with the same apple ID that the mbp iTunes account had). Now, both iPads and the mbp have the same iTunes apple ID, but my iPad did not initially. I had my own before I switched.

3. I thought that all of us using the same iTunes ID would give us all access to the apps?

4. I transferred the apps into iTunes this morning from my wife's iPad. This seemed to work OK, but I want to put a couple of apps that I bought on my iPad (with the same iTunes account), on her iPad. The app syncing is not checked and grayed out when i plug her's in. If i check the "sync apps" box it shows her apps being wiped out and asks me to choose which apps i want to sync. I want everything to stay the same, just add one. I am not looking for a wholesale resync of apps on her iPad. What am I doing wrong here?

5. I would think that any apps bought with the family ID would show up in the iTunes account on the mbp regardless of whether you transfer them or not. And when you plug your iPad in, it would want to automatically keep the apps you have on there, on there, and then give the option of adding any of the others that you don't have checked.

Am I making sense here? I feel like I'm rambling.

Huge thanks in advance. By the way, I do not have the words to describe how happy I am with the mbp vs. the burnt up HP's that I threw in the trash.
 
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Did you authorize your computers in iTunes under store ?
Did you enable sharing in iTunes preferences check off all that apply ?
 
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As far as I can tell, all computers are authorized. It seems like I did this with both iPads plugged into the mbp.

I had enables home sharing previously, and it works on my iPad. I just looked at iTunes and under sharing preferences I checked the "share my library on my local network" box. This seems awfully close to homesharing, but I don't know.

Under store in preferences I also checked automatic downloads for music, apps, and books. All three of these were unchecked.

This is all I could find that seemed applicable.
 
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OK, maybe this is working properly now. Part of it was that I had to transfer the apps off my wife's iPad, as opposed to it just syncing naturally. Part of it is my newbieness to mac in general. Part of it is realizing that I needed to set up quite a bit on iTunes for syncing to occur as desired.

I am hesitantly thinking I understand somewhat. How's that for non-committal...
 
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We all learn something new everyday.
If you have everything updated to iOS5 and iTunes 10 wireless syncing is a nice addition which you will have to check that box also.
 

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