Also, I would check with online tech support if it's too late to purchase the one on one help.
Apple Retail Store - One to One
I'm seriously thinking that it would be of value to you if available, as there seem to be quite a few nagging issues that you are having, that if you had a big list in front of you, you could nut out with them.
If I were local, I would more than happily look at your Mac, and I am sure I'd be able to help you get it set up, and have you running it smoothly, as it is so much easier to see whats going on when you have the computer and the user in front of you.
Don't get me wrong though, I and many others are happy to get you through any issues that pop up if we can, but I really think that the one on one would be great.
Personally, if I were you, and the one on one is not an option, I'd be performing a clean install, so it was like new as it came out of the box.
Letting it connect wirelessly as it will as part of the set up.
Then I would go through all the tutorials
Apple - Find Out How - Mac Basics which are listed under the video on the left.
From there, I would then set up Mail, and anything else that you want.
I would not attempt to personalise the Mac with any 3rd party features, and just get comfortable with OS X (Snow Leopard).