Getting fustrated with Gmail & Apple Mail!

I use Apple Mail to read and manage my emails, I also use Gmail along with Apple Mail. What I'm trying to do is manage all my emails with Apple Mail. It seems like when I delete an email in Apple Mail Inbox, it doesn't want to delete from the Gmail. So I have to then go to Gmail and also delete them from there, this is tiresome especially when I get a bunch of email. I also use my iPhone4 to read and manage my email. Then when I go to delete them from the Gmail, it actually deletes them BUT keeps them in there All Mail folders? So how do I configure my Gmail so that when I use Apple Mail to delete them that it also deletes them in Gmail and Gmail's All Mail folder? I'm running Apple Mail Vesion 4.3 I do have the Gmail as IMAP and not POP. Any help would greatly be appreciated please. Thanks in advance.

Mail -> Preferences -> Accounts -> Advanced. Place checkmark in box that states "Remove copy from server..........."
Note: With that option set, once the mail is downloaded it's gone from the GMail Server.

So make absolute certain that's what you want to do. I use Mail to manage my GMail account and like to keep everything on the server. It comes in handy for storing large amounts of mail. You can arrange the mail on the GMail server with labels for sort if you choose. I've got mail on there going all the way back to 2005.

You should ensure you have your Gmail setup correctly also:

Apple Mail 4.0 - Gmail Help