Think i want a divorce

Suppose I need to get somethings off my chest.

I have been married now for 3 1/2 years and been together for near 5. Kindda rushed into things. We just argue all the time now and has been like this for maybe the past 9 months or so. I find that I want to withdraw from any sort of family life. I prefer being on my own. I feel like i hate her so much.
I am not going to go into details, but I just dont have anything in common with her now. I am so focused on my military career and computers and getting my degrees while she just seems happy to float along in life doing nothing. I try to keep really good credit and she has messed up credit. But she does nothing to fix it at all. This bugs me. She cant even get a basic credit card it is that bad. Everything has to be through me. Car loans and whatever. I am the only person who can get it. I pulled her reports and she dont care one bit. We could work and get it all sorted. but nope. So when i go to get a mortgage in the future, i am limited to what i can buy. since it will all be on me. She has messed up so bad that she cant even open a new bank account.
I am just sick of so many things. I am 26 years old and dont need this ****.
I am going away in a weeks time with the Army and think i may just file for divorce. I just feel that i could meet somebody better for me. Who has a good career, good credit and cares about investments and all the good stuff.
I dont feel attracted to her and i dont want to touch her ever.
I am not happy one bit. I want to feel like myself once again in life. She gets excited about getting her degree and i am like, well whos back is it on. the military will pay her degree to an extent because of me. All financial sides are on me. I dont want it to be like this. I dont see her changing.
I hate to say it, but she comes from a poor family. Her father has nothing. Like can not even lend you $50 poor. Her mother is the same. While my mother is a shrink and when in the past, things went wrong, it was always my mother who was left to hand over thousands for our legal issues and other things.
When my mother passes away, I will become a millionaire and I cant help feel this is something my wife likes the idea of.
To me buying a $30k Mustang this year, is pretty big thing for my age and I work hard to be able to afford that. But my wife wants to buy a car for herself on top of that. On my credit and with my money really. I just dont know anymore. I think my future career in software engineering or Physics keeps her happy knowing how much i may earn. We have a year old baby and i love him so much. But i cant stay just for him and be unhappy for ever.
I find that i want to pursue other girls. I feel blank over this marriage.

I sincerely hope that you're not basing your adoration for another human being on their credit and financial background.

At your age and with your career and goals, if it's not working then get out. You're too young to be in a relationship with someone you can't stand and being in the Military doesn't help in the least (trust me, been there done that). You have a long life ahead of you, don't saddle yourself with unhappiness at 26. Move on with your life and be happy again.

Try to remember what attracted you to her in the first place and remember those vows,
marriage is not an easy thing both parties have to work at it communication breakdown
is probably the highest reason for divorce. I am sure I tick my wife off as much as she
ticks me off but we talk about it and resolve matters and in the end it was the love that
brought us together that keeps us together.

Jamie-Jamie said:

I sincerely hope that you're not basing your adoration for another human being on their credit and financial background.

Click to expand...

No. That would be a horrible thing to do to a person.
My reason for stating that is that I happen to be somebody who considers credit worthiness to be the most valuable asset in your life. Without, you cant get a car, house ,credit cards,loans or anything. So it is rather needed in a marriage.

From what you say, to me it sounds your wife is a lazy person only there married to you cause you are a rich person who can provide everything for her, without her lifting a finger. And that is pretty sad really. To me marraige should always be a 50/50 partnership where both people contribute equally in all aspects to make it work. And at the moment from what you say that is not happening.

Also you make a point that she is poor. That's nothing bad. Not her fault her parents are poor and yours are rich. That's just life, circumstances. Rich or poor has nothing to do with the kind of person you are. But lazy does.

So do you want to persue this marraige with maybe a counsiller or a good chat to her from you to help her pull her socks up and fix her credit issues? Or do you want to end it and move on? That's the choice you must make and I'm sure you know all of the consequences of both of those options.

All I have to say is that if you are buying a 30k mustang this year then you better be waiting for the 5.0 and it sounds like you might need to find a new lady friend too.

All I have to say is that you make sure you get a really good divorce attorney. Depending on the laws of your state, your wife may very well end up with a lot of your stuff if you don't have good representation. Be sure to be completely honest and upfront with your attorney about everything, don't leave anything out. This way the attorney can figure out the best way to pursue your divorce. Also, be sure to decide ahead of time what sort of custody you'd like with the child.

The most important thing: be objective. Don't let your emotions control you; you may want to be vindictive or just spiteful, but that's only going to hurt you in the end. Be reasonable in what you want out of the divorce and stick with that, because I can guarantee that your wife will be far from rational. Once a judge sees that you're the sane one and your wife is crazy, he/she is really going to rule in your favor for things like custody and property.