Setting Options in Mail (not accounts!)

Is there a way to customize Mail more? I am sorely missing some options that I used back on MS Outlook.

1. In MS Outlook you can set the email sot Send only on a Manual Send command. By that I mean that after you hit "Send" on a email message it sits in the "Outbox" until you manually do a "Send&Receive". I cannot find a way to set Mail to do the same. It sends the email out very immediately.
2. How do I set the spell check default to be turned on?
3. How do I delete addresses from autofill list? Where is that list located?
4. Any other tips that people have for customizing Mail?

If these sort of customizations are not possible do members have other suggestions of a better email program?

TIA!

2. Mail>preferences>composing>check spelling>as I type

3. Window>previous recipients (then delete the addresses you don't want to be autofilled)