The hardest decision of my life (long read)

I'm going to start off saying im sorry for such a long post, i just need to ask other people who dont have biased opinions.

Ok, so where do i begin. I just graduated high school last week. And like everyone knows to get anywhere in life nowadays you need a college education. I definitely want/need one there is no debate there, my problem is picking one. I got accepted to the college of my dreams (well, i thought it was) UMASS Amherst . I also got accepted to another local college Bridgewater State College. Well i went to orientation at Amherst last week and it didnt turn out the way i expected, all the students i met were way too smart for me, and it seemed like none of them shared the same interest as me . It is also 2 1/2 hour ride from my home to school, which means i will be 2 1/2 hours away from my friends, family, and the love of my life. I dont know if i will be able to deal with that.
I wasn't even considering the other school (Bridgewater State) until orientation. At Umass i was told that i need a gpa of 3.6 to get into my major, which i will never be able to achieve. I am just an average A,B,C student, nothing special. So now im considering going to BSC because it is closer to home, cheaper, and the main reason..my girlfriend will be also be a freshman there in the Fall. She is the perfect one for me, my family loves her, and her family loves me, i want to be with her for the rest of my life (honestly). Umass is a party school and she thinks i will mess it up there, i know i wont, i just dont want her to do anything while she is away at school either. I know she loves me and she wont but the thought lingers in my mind.
Also at BSC i will have to commute because i am on the housing waitlist, so i wont even get the college experience.
This is where im stuck. Do i go to the better school? Umass Amherst. and not fit in. Or go to the closer school BSC and live at home and commute and be with my girlfriend?
Any impute anyone has will greatly be appreciated. This is really the toughest decision i ever had to make all of my life.

Here are the pros and cons
Umass:
PROS
ultimate college experience
better school
i'll get a better job

CONS
far
might end my relationship
may be an outcast
dont get to do my intended major
academically challenged

BSC:
PROS
cheaper
closer to home
live at home
get to be with my girlfriend

CONS
live at home
commute
no college experience
not the better school academically

thanks for reading this..and thanks for any impute

Honestly, to me it sounds like Bridgewater State is the way to go. Just because its not the college of your dreams doesnt mean you wont have the college experience. The college doesnt make the experience, its you and the people you surround yourself with that make it.

Just because you're on the housing waitlist doesnt mean you cant get an apartment, or live in the dorms next year/semester. There will be plenty of people move out after a semester and I am sure there will be room of you really want to do it.

You have the rest of your life to worry about working and I wouldnt worry about how good of a job you will get when you graduate. I highly doubt the college you go to will make that much of a difference. Learn as much as you possibly can while youre in school and you will get just as good a job coming out of one school as you would the other.

Go to school, submerse yourself in the college environment, try new things, and have fun; thats what college is for.

I have to agree with PunkRockTuba. Go to the closer school, you will be close to family and friends and still have a great experience.

PunkRockTuba said:

The college doesnt make the experience, its you and the people you surround yourself with that make it.

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I guess that to some extent the college is important in regards to the quality of teaching and teahcers, etc
However I strongly agree with the fact that it's totally up to you to make your college experience good or not by meeting and interacting with people.

And this is also a general thing to do in your life

you will succeed wherever you go to the best of your abilities, forget the college reputations, and make the decision that's best for you

thanks for everyones advice...i just dont know though..even after reading this im kinda still pulling towards amherst because i went through a lot to get in..not only me but my parents..making calls, doing everything in there power so that i can get in..im just thinking that if it is meant to be i will be with my girlfriend no matter what college i go to..i also want to have a good time wherever i go...all my friends are saying that i should definitely go to Amherst..and they all envy me for getting in..so i honestly have no clue..but i really appreciate what everyone has said...thank you

well the final decision is yours.

In my view and as I said before, the more important is how you're going to "behave" in your college experience. Ok it's good to go to a good college and get good grades, however this does not necessarily means that you're going to get a better job or career! It's all about YOU and who you are!!

Also you said that going to UMASS will make you being far away from your family, friends and girlfriend. Do you think that being far away from them would have an impact on your mood and hence your studies? Maybe it's something to think about.
On the other hand, that can force you to meet and get along with new people having different opinions and/or background which it's always a good experience!!

I went to the school I really thought I would love when I first graduated high school. After about a year and a half I hated it. My adviser had no idea what he was doing, teachers didn't teach what was listed in the curriculum, and it just seemed like I was the only student not achieving anything.

Don't get me wrong, I made lifelong friends there and always visit them. I really liked the time I spent there and want to move back into that area, but I moved much closer to home and will finally be graduating (after 5 years) with a four year degree. I have learned a lot at the school closest to where I live and feel like I can get a pretty standard job when I graduate.

PunkRockTuba hit the nail on the head when he said "it's not the college that gives you the experience, its' the people you surround yourself with and what you do with it". Some of the best college experiences of my life came from the college I hated going to.

Keep in mind, you get out of college what you put into it. I finally learned that my last two years. I only allowed myself to party when I didn't have to do anything school-wise. I also joined student organizations which helped me to receive great internships. All of that helped me build a good resume which I am finally happy with. If you go into college with the mindset "I'm gonna party 24/7" and don't change that attitude, you won't really be motivated later in life. I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy college. Party when you can, just don't let it consume your entire college life. I know waaaay too many people from high school who have dropped out and still live with their parents because they partied too much and couldn't keep up the grades.

It sounds to me like you will be better off at BSC. That's what I would go with. Your parents will understand, no matter what they went through to get you into UMASS. TRUST ME!

wow guys thanks for everything, i just really need to think this one through.

you guys helped open my eyes to a lot.

i truely appreciate it.

I would recommend you make the decision based upon what is best for you, keeping in mind those people at UMASS are the same type of people you will be working alongside/with in a few years. Which college can supply you with the education you need to pursue the vocation you have chosen? Each worthy goal usually requires some form of sacrifice on our part. Best of luck to you in this most important decision!!

I go to college less than an hour from home, and I rarely go home even then. I would strongly advise against making choices based on a girlfriend. I understand that she may be the one you see yourself with forever, but how sure are you of that? Speaking even as a 21 yr old, I don't think most high school graduates, or college grads for that matter, as sure of who they want to be with forever. So the only problem I see would be basing your decision only on your girlfriend, which appears to be exactly what you are doing.

I will guess that you don't want to be away from her, and these other problems are just small tidbits you may be using to ensure you stay close to the GF. Career, at least for the time being, is more important than your girlfriend. not to mention, most high school couples don't make it past freshman year of college, even if they go to college together.

I'm not telling you to leave your GF behind, I'm just giving caution to making decisions based solely on her. especially a decision as big as college. I would NOT make any type of decision regarding grad school/law school based on my girlfriend. She knows that career is more important, at least for now.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

budafied said:

I go to college less than an hour from home, and I rarely go home even then. I would strongly advise against making choices based on a girlfriend. I understand that she may be the one you see yourself with forever, but how sure are you of that? Speaking even as a 21 yr old, I don't think most high school graduates, or college grads for that matter, as sure of who they want to be with forever. So the only problem I see would be basing your decision only on your girlfriend, which appears to be exactly what you are doing.

I will guess that you don't want to be away from her, and these other problems are just small tidbits you may be using to ensure you stay close to the GF. Career, at least for the time being, is more important than your girlfriend. not to mention, most high school couples don't make it past freshman year of college, even if they go to college together.

I'm not telling you to leave your GF behind, I'm just giving caution to making decisions based solely on her. especially a decision as big as college. I would NOT make any type of decision regarding grad school/law school based on my girlfriend. She knows that career is more important, at least for now.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

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honestly thats what ive been thinking the whole time...i wnat to be with her for the rest of my life..but what if something does happen? then im stuck at a local school..living with my parents...commuting..when i could have went to one of the biggest party schools in the country..and got a better education...at 18 i dont think i should be making such a tough decision

iPlayLax said:

honestly thats what ive been thinking the whole time...i wnat to be with her for the rest of my life..but what if something does happen? then im stuck at a local school..living with my parents...commuting..when i could have went to one of the biggest party schools in the country..and got a better education...at 18 i dont think i should be making such a tough decision

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I'm not saying you should leave your girlfriend behind or break up with her or anything. I'm just saying she should not have a big impact on where you spend the next (and maybe best) 4 years of your life getting an education and having the time of your life. Try to take your girlfriend out of the equation and look at things objectively, are you still wanting to stay home?

when i take her out of it i want to be at umass amherst..partying it up...having a good time :/

In this sort of situation the only thing you need to consider is WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
This cannot be about your girlfriend or parents or friends. None of those people will sit next to you in class everyday or comfort you in your times of need. You are the only one that has to deal with it.
I would go and party it up though.

Jacob.

Well here is my little experience:

I enrolled to go to a certian University, and and planned my whole life around this choice. It was noted as the best uni in the state. And when I wasn't accepted I was rather shattered. So I tried again to get into a uni, and 2nd time round I was successful. But I was offered a place in a different uni. And I hated this, till about a week in when I found out this uni did things much differently to what I had first thought. And I loved my 3 years there.

But long story short I left there and went to TAFE and am now a chef.

So how this relates to your story is just cause a uni is more prestigious or older than another doesn't make it better. Well in some peoples eyes it does. But in the end all the grandour and flash can't agrue with the end results. Which is how many graduates get jobs.

And to me, you'll be a long time there. And if you're happier at a place, no matter how good or how helpful the place is, if the will is not there to work and have a fun time, it'll be a struggle to do well.

So just pick what feels right to you, which one you like and which will give you the best job in the end. And if your girlfriend is worth her salt, then she'll understand this and support you in this decision.

thanks

By the way you put it, BSC seemed like the better choice, from my opinion.
I personally feel the most important thing is that you won't be able to get into your major of your choice in UMASS, and that would suck terribly since you'd be working so hard and yet not getting into the course you really want.

calenerd said:

By the way you put it, BSC seemed like the better choice, from my opinion.
I personally feel the most important thing is that you won't be able to get into your major of your choice in UMASS, and that would suck terribly since you'd be working so hard and yet not getting into the course you really want.

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yea, but they dont offer the major i want at BSC anyway..so no matter where i go i have to major in something that isnt my first choice

also my friends and family are telling me that going to Amherst is a once in a life time opportunity...and that i should atleast give it a chance..and they tell me that BSC is like high school cause so many kids who graduate from my high school enroll there