That HDMI port on his notebook most definitely will not be a video input. It will be a video "output" so that he can connect it to a separate monitor or TV.
Yep, you have it backwards.
The connection of the video source - your notebook or iPad - is the "from" side and you need an "out" connection .
The connection of the device that you want to watch the video on, or send the video "to" - the projector or TV - is the "to" side and you need an "in" connection.
In your scenario, if you wanted to take what is playing on the projector and watch that on your computer or other device, that would be a VGA to HDMI - that's if you have a VGA "out" on the projector and a HDMI "in" on the computer - both of which are highly unlikely.
You're trying to get what is on the iPad or notebook so that you can watch it on the projector. So, you start with the source - the notebook - which is HDMI and you want to get the picture "to" the VGA port on the projector - hence HDMI to VGA.
When going between analog and digital inputs, the direction you're moving the signal is always important.