Would love some help on syncing..

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Hello people, I have had iphone for a while but never plugged it in to the Mac before. Unfortunately, I don't really know what I'm doing and have seen it authorise, then sync and then delete and haven't a clue what's happened. On the tick box for contacts etc, what should be ticked and what shouldn't, what is the advanced tab for contacts at the bottom, It has taken off apps, WHY, I put them back amazed they were still there when I saw 'deleting' going on in the iTunes bar, but as it turns out they're all useless now because all gaming progress has been erased, and shouldn't a restore/back up put things back where they found them, instead of me having to arrange them all again?

If someone can explain how to back up properly without this problem it would be good, the reason I need to back up is because it tells me I need to get latest version of the firmware I'm guessing, but wish I hadn't bothered now
 
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Yeh, but my problems are different, I did all that and that's why I have the problems to start with... that's why I posted because it's not that straightforward, it's deleted stuff and not sure about sync or back up?
 

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