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Thread: Tech Support

  1. #1

    bobtomay's Avatar
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    Tech Support
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

    (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
    screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
    a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
    where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
    it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
    that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
    lean way over??"
    Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right
    angle -- it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power ..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got
    it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
    I cannot be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.
    In the Windows world, most everything folks don't understand is called a virus.

  2. #2

    bobtomay's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 22, 2006
    Location
    Texas, where else?
    Posts
    26,462
    Specs:
    15" MBP '06 2.33 C2D 4GB 10.7; 13" MBA '14 1.8 i7 8GB 10.11; 21" iMac '13 2.9 i5 8GB 10.11; 6S
    YUP, we have all talked to this guy.....more than once....


    I finally found that guy I've been talking to at Microsoft tech support..............

    Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

    The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."

    Mujibar said, "I am ready"

    The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

    Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."

    The manager said, "Go ahead."

    Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

    Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center in India for your computer problems.

    No doubt you have spoken to him. I have.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    I cannot be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.
    In the Windows world, most everything folks don't understand is called a virus.

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