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silly computer jokes


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Ecgțeow

 
Member Since: Feb 06, 2010
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Here's one from another board:

After the fall of the USSR, a Polish bishop and an Italian bishop were talking about the state of the Catholic church in Poland. "The government has given back many of our churches," said the Polish bishop, "but they're almost unusable. They've smashed all our windows and stolen all the icons."

The Italian bishop responded: "No windows and no icons... do you just say Mass at the DOS prompt?"
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fearlessfreap24

 
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there are 10 types of people. those that understand binary and those that dont

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sguniverse

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fearlessfreap24 View Post
there are 10 types of people. those that understand binary and those that dont
Classic one

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Chris H.

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sguniverse View Post
Classic one

LMAO…


Here's one for the press:


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DarkestRitual

 
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I forget who first showed me this, but:

Quote:
43 Reason Why Computers Are Better Than Women

1. A computer can wait forever for you.
2. A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users.
3. A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in.
4. A computer doesn't mind how excited you get.
5. A computer doesn't tell you how completely terrific it's past users have been.
6. A computer is big in all the right places.
7. A computer never forgets your birthday.
8. A computer won't ask, "Are you in?"
9. A computer won't ask, "Is there another computer?"
10. A computer won't even talk about marriage.
11. A computer won't fall in love with you just because you look good.
12. A computer won't get grouchy if you're slow to respond.
13. A computer won't grade you on how much you send it.
14. A computer won't look through your chequebook.
15. A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.
16. A computer won't say, "Let's just be friends."
17. A computer won't shave with your razor.
18. A computer's maintenance personnel don't cross-examine you every time you log in.
19. Computers are easy to turn on.
20. Computers are ready when you are.
21. Computers are very responsive.
22. Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account.
23. Computers do everything you tell them to.
24. Computers don't care about age differences.
25. Computers don't care if you're married.
26. Computers don't get pregnant.
27. Computers don't get upset if you use other computers.
28. Computers don't insist on a massage.
29. Computers don't make you meet their parents.
30. Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend.
31. Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you.
32. Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to.
33. Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.
34. Computers never have headaches, or take rain checks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.
35. Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends.
36. If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a minute.
37. Your height doesn't count to a computer.
38. The average computer session lasts four hours.
39. With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry.
40. You can log into several computers at once.
41. You can turn off a computer.
42. You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you.
43. You don't have to tell computers you love them.
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sguniverse

 
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To keep up with the funny.
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Chris H.

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sguniverse View Post
To keep up with the funny.
LMAO!



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If you get any particularly gullible computer users at work, and they are having computer problems, then tell them this useful tip....

... tell them to make sure all their computer cables are as straight as possible.

The reason is simple.

Computers comunicate using binary data. Binary is made up of noughts and ones.

When a cable is too bent, often the 0s can get through OK, they have nice rounded edges. But the 1s have sharp edges and can often get stuck in tight bends, causing loss of data.

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squishybread

 
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lol !
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Chris H.

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by louishen View Post
If you get any particularly gullible computer users at work, and they are having computer problems, then tell them this useful tip....

... tell them to make sure all their computer cables are as straight as possible.

The reason is simple.

Computers comunicate using binary data. Binary is made up of noughts and ones.

When a cable is too bent, often the 0s can get through OK, they have nice rounded edges. But the 1s have sharp edges and can often get stuck in tight bends, causing loss of data.
Bahahaha!


Here's a jab at Windoze



These are probably spoofed a little (maybe), but that last box makes me laugh. My MacBook has been up and running for over two weeks now.

 iPad mini 1st gen - iOS 8.0
 iPod touch 5th gen - iOS 8.0
 Mac mini Server M10 - OS X 10.9.4
 MacBook Uni L09 - OS X 10.10 PB3
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XJ-linux

 
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One of my all time favorites...


"Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly." – Henry Spencer
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