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  1. #1


    Member Since
    Feb 06, 2010
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    129
    silly computer jokes
    Here's one from another board:

    After the fall of the USSR, a Polish bishop and an Italian bishop were talking about the state of the Catholic church in Poland. "The government has given back many of our churches," said the Polish bishop, "but they're almost unusable. They've smashed all our windows and stolen all the icons."

    The Italian bishop responded: "No windows and no icons... do you just say Mass at the DOS prompt?"

  2. #2

    fearlessfreap24's Avatar
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    Feb 09, 2005
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    MacBook Pro 13" | MacBook Pro 13" | Mac Mini 2GHz C2D
    there are 10 types of people. those that understand binary and those that dont

  3. #3


    Member Since
    Oct 04, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by fearlessfreap24 View Post
    there are 10 types of people. those that understand binary and those that dont
    Classic one


  4. #4

    Chris H.'s Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 03, 2009
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    Albuquerque, New Mexico
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    Quote Originally Posted by sguniverse View Post
    Classic one

    LMAOů


    Here's one for the press:

     iPad Air 2 - iOS 9.3
     iPhone 6 64GB - iOS 9.3
     Mac mini early 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4
     MacBook unibody/white late 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4

  5. #5


    Member Since
    Apr 09, 2009
    Location
    Ithaca NY
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    2,073
    Specs:
    13 inch alMacBook 2GHz C2D 4G DDR3, 1.25GHz G4 eMac
    I forget who first showed me this, but:

    43 Reason Why Computers Are Better Than Women

    1. A computer can wait forever for you.
    2. A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users.
    3. A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in.
    4. A computer doesn't mind how excited you get.
    5. A computer doesn't tell you how completely terrific it's past users have been.
    6. A computer is big in all the right places.
    7. A computer never forgets your birthday.
    8. A computer won't ask, "Are you in?"
    9. A computer won't ask, "Is there another computer?"
    10. A computer won't even talk about marriage.
    11. A computer won't fall in love with you just because you look good.
    12. A computer won't get grouchy if you're slow to respond.
    13. A computer won't grade you on how much you send it.
    14. A computer won't look through your chequebook.
    15. A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.
    16. A computer won't say, "Let's just be friends."
    17. A computer won't shave with your razor.
    18. A computer's maintenance personnel don't cross-examine you every time you log in.
    19. Computers are easy to turn on.
    20. Computers are ready when you are.
    21. Computers are very responsive.
    22. Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account.
    23. Computers do everything you tell them to.
    24. Computers don't care about age differences.
    25. Computers don't care if you're married.
    26. Computers don't get pregnant.
    27. Computers don't get upset if you use other computers.
    28. Computers don't insist on a massage.
    29. Computers don't make you meet their parents.
    30. Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend.
    31. Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you.
    32. Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to.
    33. Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.
    34. Computers never have headaches, or take rain checks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.
    35. Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends.
    36. If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a minute.
    37. Your height doesn't count to a computer.
    38. The average computer session lasts four hours.
    39. With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry.
    40. You can log into several computers at once.
    41. You can turn off a computer.
    42. You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you.
    43. You don't have to tell computers you love them.

  6. #6


    Member Since
    Oct 04, 2010
    Posts
    26
    To keep up with the funny.

  7. #7

    Chris H.'s Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 03, 2009
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    Posts
    2,641
    Quote Originally Posted by sguniverse View Post
    To keep up with the funny.
    LMAO!


     iPad Air 2 - iOS 9.3
     iPhone 6 64GB - iOS 9.3
     Mac mini early 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4
     MacBook unibody/white late 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4

  8. #8

    louishen's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 22, 2007
    Location
    London
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    8,968
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    Mac Mini Core i7 2012 | White 2009 MacBook 2 Ghz | 733 Mhz G4 Quicksilver
    If you get any particularly gullible computer users at work, and they are having computer problems, then tell them this useful tip....

    ... tell them to make sure all their computer cables are as straight as possible.

    The reason is simple.

    Computers comunicate using binary data. Binary is made up of noughts and ones.

    When a cable is too bent, often the 0s can get through OK, they have nice rounded edges. But the 1s have sharp edges and can often get stuck in tight bends, causing loss of data.
    Member of the Month September 2008 & August 2012 | Found advice useful? ľ use the rep system

  9. #9


    Member Since
    Sep 02, 2009
    Posts
    2
    lol !

  10. #10

    Chris H.'s Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 03, 2009
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    Posts
    2,641
    Quote Originally Posted by louishen View Post
    If you get any particularly gullible computer users at work, and they are having computer problems, then tell them this useful tip....

    ... tell them to make sure all their computer cables are as straight as possible.

    The reason is simple.

    Computers comunicate using binary data. Binary is made up of noughts and ones.

    When a cable is too bent, often the 0s can get through OK, they have nice rounded edges. But the 1s have sharp edges and can often get stuck in tight bends, causing loss of data.
    Bahahaha!


    Here's a jab at Windoze



    These are probably spoofed a little (maybe), but that last box makes me laugh. My MacBook has been up and running for over two weeks now.
     iPad Air 2 - iOS 9.3
     iPhone 6 64GB - iOS 9.3
     Mac mini early 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4
     MacBook unibody/white late 2009 - OS X El Capitan 10.11.4

  11. #11

    XJ-linux's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 02, 2007
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    Going Galt...
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    Specs:
    MacBookAir5,2:10.9.5-MacMini3,1:10.9.5-iPhone6,1:8.4.1
    Talking
    One of my all time favorites...

    Never judge a man, untill you have walked a mile in his shoes...
    That way you'll be a mile away from him, and you'll have his shoes.

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