New To Mac-Forums?

Welcome to our community! Join the discussion today by registering your FREE account. If you have any problems with the registration process, please contact us!

Get your questions answered by community gurus Advice and insight from world-class Apple enthusiasts Exclusive access to members-only contests, giveaways and deals

Join today!

 
Start a Discussion
 

Mac-Forums Brief

Subscribe to Mac-Forums Brief to receive special offers from Mac-Forums partners and sponsors

Join the conversation RSS
Schweb's Lounge Forum for general conversation, chit chat, or most topics that don't fit in another forum.

Some funny Jokes


Post Reply New Thread Subscribe

 
Thread Tools
LeifNisaan

 
Member Since: Dec 30, 2008
Posts: 4
LeifNisaan is on a distinguished road

LeifNisaan is offline
The Wrong E-mail


A man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

"Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Leif Nisaan
QUOTE Thanks
LeifNisaan

 
Member Since: Dec 30, 2008
Posts: 4
LeifNisaan is on a distinguished road

LeifNisaan is offline
Bill Gates Died

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.

One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royce's."

"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates. "No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter.

Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"

"Yes, but we use Windows till this date," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once.

Leif Nisaan
QUOTE Thanks
LeifNisaan

 
Member Since: Dec 30, 2008
Posts: 4
LeifNisaan is on a distinguished road

LeifNisaan is offline
Great writer

Great Writer "There was once a young man, in his youth, his desire was to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages..........

Leif Nisaan
QUOTE Thanks
LeifNisaan

 
Member Since: Dec 30, 2008
Posts: 4
LeifNisaan is on a distinguished road

LeifNisaan is offline
Bill Gates Chair

Bill Gates died in an accident involving a misguided pie which was thrown at him by an angry Macintosh protester. Because of his achievements in life, it was decided that he should go to heaven.

God Personally showed Bill around heaven, displaying the Waterfalls, Great Forests, Lagoon's and Wet-T-shirt contests that are held regularly. Bill was impressed by all of them and kept nodding his head in approval, which pleased God because he enjoyed pleasing others.

When they finished the tour, God took Bill into his Throne room and sat down on the blindingly shiny throne. God asked Bill how he had enjoyed heaven so far, and Bill replied;

"It's been great, but you're in my chair."

Leif Nisaan
QUOTE Thanks
fleurya

 
fleurya's Avatar
 
Member Since: Nov 18, 2006
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 4,922
fleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to allfleurya is a name known to all
Mac Specs: 27" iMac 2.7GHz Core i5, iPhone 4S, 3rd gen iPad

fleurya is offline
Funny stuff. The last one actually sounds more like a Jobs joke; I would peg him as the more likely to have a God complex.

"Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others"
QUOTE Thanks
dbnoise

 
dbnoise's Avatar
 
Member Since: Dec 21, 2008
Posts: 314
dbnoise will become famous soon enough

dbnoise is offline
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"

The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"

To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
QUOTE Thanks
dabears34

 
dabears34's Avatar
 
Member Since: Jul 17, 2008
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 410
dabears34 is on a distinguished road
Mac Specs: Macbook 2.4 GHZ, 2G Ram, 160 GB HD| iPhone 4

dabears34 is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleurya View Post
Funny stuff. The last one actually sounds more like a Jobs joke; I would peg him as the more likely to have a God complex.
Agreed, I think Gates is a nerd and owns it. Jobs thinks he owns the world.
Those were pretty funny
QUOTE Thanks

Post Reply New Thread Subscribe


« is it a fraud | Left 4 Dead »
Thread Tools

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Popular American Blogger Owns a Journalist over Macs - V. Funny toasis Schweb's Lounge 0 12-18-2008 10:27 PM
Vista jokes...really funny adler Schweb's Lounge 10 06-18-2007 11:00 PM
Very funny ad Apfel Schweb's Lounge 2 12-09-2006 12:02 PM
Funny Video About Macs maddog39 Schweb's Lounge 2 02-19-2006 11:04 AM
I think this vidclip Is So Funny! OMG ROXORZ MacMan101 Schweb's Lounge 2 09-03-2005 09:27 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:28 PM.

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
X

Welcome to Mac-Forums.com

Create your username to jump into the discussion!

New members like you have made this community the ultimate source for your Mac since 2003!


(4 digit year)

Already a member?