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Schweb's Lounge Forum for general conversation, chit chat, or most topics that don't fit in another forum.

concerned father


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witeshark

 
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If your daughter knows the system like I know mine, any software of the kind would be discovered in a second. Just a thought.
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vuschejan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasmeat
Hell, why stop there, why not just tap the phone line? There are many programs you can use to actually record any call that comes into the house. There are also programs that can hack (illegally) websites like Hotmail and yahoo for password retrieval. This only works though if you dont care if the person's password gets changed. Because once you hack it, it will ask you to reset the password to something new. One a side note, no one ever has a guide to understanding your children. She will try drugs, she will try alcohol, she will have sex within her lifetime(shocking I know). Your best bet is to be there for her when she makes mistakes in order to help her realize that no matter what, you'll be there for her. You never had underage sex? You never drank, smoked, did drugs as a teen? I think parents these days try and be too protective over their kids and when their kids begin to try and experiment with life outside the house, their parents always fear the worst and start going to extremes. If you raised her right, it'll work out fine. She'll always have that foundation to rely on. Check out websnoop and http://www.kengolf.com/en/
I completley disagree with this. I'm 15 (male) and I've never done drugs, only seen them twice(One at a dave Matthews Concert, The other on my bus) I'm definitley not having premaritial sex, and to even draw the line further on that, to keep from accidently slipping to that i've drawn a line before open mouth kissing. Dont say that we WILL do it when some of us dont.
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Desolate One
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Originally Posted by vuschejan
I completley disagree with this. I'm 15 (male) and I've never done drugs, only seen them twice(One at a dave Matthews Concert, The other on my bus) I'm definitley not having premaritial sex, and to even draw the line further on that, to keep from accidently slipping to that i've drawn a line before open mouth kissing. Dont say that we WILL do it when some of us dont.
But of course. And when I was your age (damn I must be getting old, I used "your age"!) I had never fathomed the thought of any of that either. Things change my friend, peeple change. You've barely began to experience life. When you come back 10 years hense to prove us all wrong, you've nothing to claim but a statistic. The average "child" these days don't draw lines. And if you stand true to those lines you've drawn then I applaud you. But not now, not tomorrow, but after all is said and done.
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Macman

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasmeat
not overprotective enough? Isnt he talking about bugging his daughter to find out what she's doing? That's not overprotective? I should have worded that better. More and more parents dont give a **** and the ones that do care are almost always overprotective with their kids.
this is pretty much what I meant, but I think its better for a parent to be overprotective than be oblivious to their child.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vuschejan
I completley disagree with this. I'm 15 (male) and I've never done drugs, only seen them twice(One at a dave Matthews Concert, The other on my bus) I'm definitley not having premaritial sex, and to even draw the line further on that, to keep from accidently slipping to that i've drawn a line before open mouth kissing. Dont say that we WILL do it when some of us dont.
vuschejan, good for you! I do applaud you today and encourage you to hold your ground. Don't let anyone tell you that you're too young to draw a line and stick with it. The earlier that lines are drawn, the easier it will be to stay on "your side" of it. (I imagine that you already know that and have been doing it for years.) If we had more teenagers (and adults) that had the courage and will power to even attempt to draw a line, this country would be much better off. Keep it up, you will be rewarded.

I'm going out on a limb here… I bet you even respect your elders
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Macman

 
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I started drawing lines at about 8, and do respect my elders, good for you vuschejan
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D3v1L80Y

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasmeat
not overprotective enough? Isnt he talking about bugging his daughter to find out what she's doing? That's not overprotective? I should have worded that better. More and more parents dont give a **** and the ones that do care are almost always overprotective with their kids.
If a parent wants to find out what their children are doing, it is not being overprotective. It is called being a parent. It is their job to care and know about what their kids are doing. While I will agree that employing spyware on a computer is a bit extreme, versus just confronting the kid in conversation first, it is not being overprotective to wonder what your child is doing online. It is just being responsible.
That being said, I am leaning towards the majority of the group here in that I am having difficulty believing that this particular issue is 100 percent legit. It does sound more like a friend/boyfriend/weirdo wanting to spy on a person, rather than a concerned parent.
A true parent, in my opinion, would probably not have chosen a handle like "deathdealer". I am not saying that a concerned father should have to put "dad" or "parent" in the name, but "deathdealer" is obivously a poor choice if one is going to post a question such as this one, and want to be taken seriously.
A truly concerned parent would also not be as worried about the cost of such spying software. If you really wanted to know what was going on that badly, I would think that the $20 or so would be well worth it, especially if it could help save your kid from dangerous situations like drugs, stalkers and other questionable things.
All in all, I stll think the best and most effective approach would be to just talk to the teen. If it is that bad of a situation, he could take the laptop away, or at the very least restrict use of the internet to the point where he can at least be in the same room to supervise or monitor it. At the end of the day, the dad is still the parent. And whatever the parents say, no matter how much the teen may disagree, is the way it goes.

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Originally Posted by deathdealler
Wow.. i got more information on how to be a father than information on keystroke recorders.

for some reason my name suggests that I could not be a father hmm strange, I suppose it was the first thing that came to me.

Any way I'm not the greatest with computers and searched the Internet for free keystroke recorders for the mac, some said free but was not free a big runaround. I don't want to purchase something that I will only use for a couple of weeks to asses a situation.
I really don't want to get to personal about my situation but if any of you have great teen kid that STOPS TALKING TO YOU out of the blue I think you might understand.

I would appreciate some serious help.

thanks DD
I am also a father of a 14 YO girl who uses AIM, Yahoo and MSN frequently. I'm just going to put this to you bluntly. Stop trying to be her friend. Search her computer and search her room if you have suspicions or are worried. YOU are the parent here, she is still a child. Have her log on to Yahoo with you present and then look at her account. Get her password from her and do not be afraid to log onto her account (from your Mac) while she is online and see what she is doing. Find out who these people are she chats with. If they are her school friends, cool. If they are random "peeps" she met on-line, ban them. You need to know what's going on. If she refuses to talk, refuses to give you the password or changes her username/password, then it is time to take the computer away, or at least seriously limit the amount of time she spends on-line, and make sure that time is not while she is locked in her room. She needs to know that you are paying attention, that you are aware, and that you are in charge. If she is doing nothing wrong then she won't have any problems. My daughter knows most of what I do, and doesn't like it. That's OK. You need to become more computer savvy than her. My daughter has gotten mad at me, accused me of invading her privacy (which I have) AND stopped talking to me for a while.

Sorry, I don't have info on keystroke loggers. I believe in the strait foreword approach for stuff like this. If she has done as you said above, SOMETHING is going on, and you need to find out what it is. The heavy handed approach doesn't always work, but sometimes it is needed.


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Macman

 
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an alternate idea to a keystroke recorder, if you have a mac other than the one your daughter is using, and they are in the same house, use apple remote desktop, you can view her screen, what shes doing and everything, even control her copmuter remotely.
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Texasmeat

 
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If her email account is in under the ISP you have (ie. blank@aol.com) you can call and get that information from AOL as long as you are the primary account holder and you know the account password on the primary account...Just a thought
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You can spy on her with key recording software, but you will still have to confront her. She may feel violated that you infringed on her privacy. The spying is for your peace of mind. Confronting her with this evidence will only make her work harder to hide these things.Technology favors the young, they will always be one step ahead of us.
Time go low tech and talk to her, man-
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shaun89

 
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Here's some advice... Don't use anything to get ot hack her password. Its just wrong and an invasion of privacy. I am a teen, (im 14), and if i was her and you stole my password, it would just make me mad, and cause a fight. Just dont try, ask her about it, and if she doesnt want to talk, don't make her. If she hasn't done anything majorly stupid before, then just trust her now. She probably wont be doing anything she doesn't want to. Just trust who shes talking to, and dont steal her password.
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baggss

 
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Sorry shaun89, but I completely disagree with you there.....


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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaun89
Here's some advice... Don't use anything to get ot hack her password. Its just wrong and an invasion of privacy. I am a teen, (im 14), and if i was her and you stole my password, it would just make me mad, and cause a fight. Just dont try, ask her about it, and if she doesnt want to talk, don't make her. If she hasn't done anything majorly stupid before, then just trust her now. She probably wont be doing anything she doesn't want to. Just trust who shes talking to, and dont steal her password.
I'm 14 as well, and I completley disagree....
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shaun89

 
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I was just giving my opinion. Its not my problem, do what ever you want.... Still think taking her password is a bad idea.

Oh well, its almost been a week... he might have solved it
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