A lot of these books about Apple & Jobs in the early years are using stories from newspapers and magazines as sources... we all know how accurate they can be. Also, a lot of information is coming from other people, who all have different opinions on how things happened.
The iCon book (aswell as others from the same publisher) where banned because (at least this is how I remember it being reported at the time) the author kept trying to contact Steve and asking about his birth parents, and how he felt about being adopted. Steve wasn't too happy about this, some nasty words where said, and a lot of books got pulled from Apple Stores. Almost every review I've read of the book from people "in the know" have said it's filled with inaccurate information.
As for how nice Steve is or isn't... Just like all of us, and certainly any other business man, he can be a real... well, you know. I also think being booted from Apple calmed him down, and made him appreciate that he had to change tactics slightly if anyone was going to work for him again. I still don't think he's an angel to this day, but I don't think he's as bad as he once was, and seems to have the company and customers best interests at heart.
Like others have said, Bill Gates gives more money to charity than anyone else in the world. I don't know how nice or not Bill really is, but when a lot of the money he makes is going to charity I don't think it matters.