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Jonzjob
01-07-2016, 09:11 AM
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN…

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!

Pinched from one of my U.K. woodwork forums, so I'm just the messenger;);)

RadDave
01-07-2016, 11:48 AM
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN…

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately......

Pinched from one of my U.K. woodwork forums, so I'm just the messenger;);)

Hi Jonzjob - enjoyed! :) I belong to a number of woodworking forums (frequent Woodnet (http://www.woodnet.net) the most w/ my three favorite forums being woodworking, woodworking machines, & finishing) - but I must say that 'woodworkers' seem to have a broad spectrum of humor even when poking fun at each other!

Just getting back into woodworking after a 2-year hiatus (needed surgery for a ganglion cyst on my left thumb - numb sensation for nearly a year to let that nerve recover) - SO, I treated myself to a few new tools (shown below) as replacements for several older ones - Dave
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toMACsh
01-07-2016, 02:06 PM
16. All Americans will be required to learn the difference between a fanny and a bum, at age 21.

Sawday
01-07-2016, 04:30 PM
17. The giving of tips will be for service above and beyond the duties of a job (that's what wages are for). Henceforth just doing your job will not justify a tip.
18. The phrase "Have a nice day" will be banned in all public places.
19. Dates will be written in the correct format viz DD/MM/YY.

harryb2448
01-07-2016, 04:36 PM
And remember they are 'bumbags' not 'fanny bags'. And if you sip your tea out of the saucer my Royal Pembroke Corgi will have you!!!!!

Sawday
01-07-2016, 04:57 PM
20. And a Trump is a Fart. Hang on that one can stay.

cwa107
01-07-2016, 05:57 PM
I've seen this one floating around before, and all I'll say is this...

Give me a call once you've landed a man on the moon. Until then, I'll continue to enjoy language, sports, weapons, vehicles, food, drink and measurement systems in the way that God intended... that is, the American way :)

And by the way, if you're British, you don't get to criticize other nations' cuisine. Period.

IWT
01-07-2016, 06:28 PM
And by the way, if you're British, you don't get to criticize other nations' cuisine. Period.

Sorry. That should be "Full Stop".;)

Ian

Sawday
01-07-2016, 06:35 PM
A sense of humour will become a requirement too.

MacInWin
01-07-2016, 06:49 PM
Saw this in an email stream from a bunch of my Brit compatriots from when I lived nr. Bury St. Edmunds. Commented back on #12. Baseball IS played in other countries—Canada, Australia, Japan, Venezuela, Santo Domingo, Mexico, most of the Latin America countries and we’ve recruited at least two professionals from India (javelin throwers who were brought in an taught to pitch). And the batters face the ball with just helmets, thank-you-very-much! Not armored like armadillos of those cricket pooftas!

Jonzjob
01-07-2016, 07:21 PM
"Not armored like armadillos of those cricket pooftas! "

Or the American footballers eh compaired to the mans game :P:P:*

lclev
01-07-2016, 09:58 PM
Hey I am just admiring RadDave's Makita biscuit cutter - sweet! I had one back in my wood shop teaching days. Portable battery powered hand drill looks nice too! I still have a weakness for tools.

Lisa

RadDave
01-07-2016, 10:25 PM
Hey I am just admiring RadDave's Makita biscuit cutter - sweet! I had one back in my wood shop teaching days. Portable battery powered hand drill looks nice too! I still have a weakness for tools.

Hi Lisa - thanks for noticing my 'new' tools - I used a DeWalt biscuit joiner for years but the 'wafers' were always loose - test cuts w/ the Makita show a tighter fit, so will come up w/ a project to test.

As to the drills, I have a tier of 3 Li-Ion tools (others 14.4V Panasonic & 18V Bosch) - this one replaces my lower voltage Milwaukee which did not hold the drill bits well and needed an additional 'bare' tool for right-angle needs; so, the new Festool (love that company - have two of their sanders & their jigsaw) in one drill has replaceable chucks as shown in the pic (regular drill, right-angle, and hex adapter) - donated the old tools to our local Habitat for Humanity store. Dave :)

lclev
01-07-2016, 11:41 PM
RadDave - I love Li-ion tools. I have a small Black & Decker hand drill that I use at work. I am amazed that even though it is small I can drill metal with it and my chief use is as a power screw driver. While I no longer teach and have a full shop, I still collect tools just because I like them and you just never know when you may need them. ;)

I can still use the school shop if I need to as I am still friends with the girl who took over when I retired. I use to make a lot of wood items for Christmas presents etc. The wood shop teacher and I use to team teach so we would buy our tools with the idea we could share them. I occasionally do a bit of custom work if I need something for home.

Lisa

Jonzjob
01-08-2016, 04:05 AM
I've never had a biscuit joiner Dave, I use a cutter in my router, not the internet type before anyone questions :Mischievous: It looks like a handy bit of kit!

If you have aq look at my web site you'll see that I don't do much joinery.:Confused::Confused:

Bumbags are called les banane, pronounced banann. Very confusing!

Rod Sprague
01-08-2016, 09:37 AM
Being Australian I can be critical of both sides. As far as the reference to Ausralian cricket pooftas wearing armadillo like protection you will note that American baseball players do not face a ball that has bounced of an uneven pitch at 140 Km/hr. (That's 87 miles/hr) Yet the keepers wear enough body armour to stop a cannon while ours wear only gloves. Lastly the term US English is a contradiction, it is either English or it is not. I have no objection to it being called American but spelling everything phonetically is not English.
Interestingly dialog and dialogue are both accepted by the spell checker on my iPhone whereas criticize and theater are not.


Sent from my iPhone using Mac Forums

Jonzjob
01-08-2016, 12:33 PM
:Blushing::Blushing:Oh dear, one can of worms opened here me-thinks:Blushing::Blushing:

Still, never mind we can all have a nice cup of tea :Cool: Though preferably not in Boston ;P;P

MacInWin
01-08-2016, 12:44 PM
On the cricket front, I do recognize the awkwardness of bouncing the ball off the wicket at 140 kph, but in the baseball game at the professional level the pitchers routinely deliver the pitch at between 145 kph (90 mph) and 160 kph (100 mph). One of the pitchers on the team I follow has actually been recorded at 103 mph (166 kph). I do admire anyone who can stand in front of either, frankly. I have played cricket and was NOT bowled for a duck, but was caught out for 2. At least I scored!

harryb2448
01-08-2016, 04:53 PM
Your problem Jake was you did not have enough innings. Everyone gets a duck at some time lol! Even a golden one!!!

Pointless argument Rod we will NEVER win, and do not mention the over padded. helmeted out of condition gridiron players!

MacInWin
01-08-2016, 05:27 PM
Harry, it was definitely quit while I was ahead! I did pretty well fielding, however. Cricket and baseball are similar in that aspect. I actually do like cricket, although my wife thinks it's slower than watching paint dry. Which, I think, is probably the point. Sleeping quietly in your chair, pint at hand, awaking to the gentle applause for a well-struck six, ah, the simple pleasures!

chscag
01-08-2016, 10:29 PM
Blah. Football, cricket, baseball, etc. All very boring. What's real excitement is watching the Saturday Night WWE Smackdown! Now that will keep you awake Harry! ;P

harryb2448
01-09-2016, 12:29 AM
The mind does boggle at the antics of you Texans Charlie. I am coming to consider Bryan smarter and smarter with a Canuck's view of you lot!

RadDave
01-09-2016, 02:36 PM
RadDave - I love Li-ion tools. I have a small Black & Decker hand drill that I use at work. I am amazed that even though it is small I can drill metal with it and my chief use is as a power screw driver. While I no longer teach and have a full shop, I still collect tools just because I like them and you just never know when you may need them. ;)

I can still use the school shop if I need to as I am still friends with the girl who took over when I retired. I use to make a lot of wood items for Christmas presents etc. The wood shop teacher and I use to team teach so we would buy our tools with the idea we could share them. I occasionally do a bit of custom work if I need something for home.


Hi Lisa - sorry, just getting back to this thread - I had NiCd batteries for years - large, heavy, memory issues, and the worst, relatively rapid loss of charge (not pleasant for an intermittent woodworker) - switching over to Li-Ion was a revelation - lighter and if after a month or so, I grab a drill, the tool works!

I'd love to have access to a shop w/ some larger standing machines - I have a 6" Yorkcraft jointer & a 12" Makita thickness planer and love both, but an 8" jointer and larger thickness planer or a wide drum sander (like the $2000 25" Delta shown below - ;)) would be a joy! But my projects are not that large and my glue-up panels rarely have more that 2 joints to smooth down.


I've never had a biscuit joiner Dave, I use a cutter in my router, not the internet type before anyone questions :Mischievous: It looks like a handy bit of kit!

If you have aq look at my web site you'll see that I don't do much joinery.:Confused::Confused:

Bumbags are called les banane, pronounced banann. Very confusing!

Hi John - took a look at your website - some nice crafts projects - I own a half dozen routers of different sizes, plus a router table - many use a slot cutter in a router for biscuits, so a common practice; in fact, I have a number of different size slot cutters - love Festools (European made and more expensive - that's why I have just 4 of their smaller ones!) - the new drill will be put to a LOT of use - the chuck changes are easy to do and has all of the features (2 speeds + 12 clutch choices) of my larger powered Li-Ion drills. Dave :)

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Slydude
01-09-2016, 04:01 PM
@lclev and RadDave You guys do realize I could put together a spectacular computer /AV system for what you have invested in tools? Just sayin' ;D

If that gives you any ideas in my direction well so be it.

RadDave
01-09-2016, 06:36 PM
@lclev and RadDave You guys do realize I could put together a spectacular computer /AV system for what you have invested in tools? Just sayin' ;D

If that gives you any ideas in my direction well so be it.

Sly... - well, with the right tools, we could make you one blazingly fast computer out of wood! O:);D Dave
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lclev
01-09-2016, 06:55 PM
Slydude - Keep in mind, the large heavy tools all reside at my former place of employment. I can just borrow the use of them.

RadDave - That is BEAUTIFUL! Be nice if it was real. Oh, and the school shop has an Oliver 25" planer - it is a beast!

Lisa

RadDave
01-09-2016, 07:35 PM
Slydude - Keep in mind, the large heavy tools all reside at my former place of employment. I can just borrow the use of them.

RadDave - That is BEAUTIFUL! Be nice if it was real. Oh, and the school shop has an Oliver 25" planer - it is a beast!


Thanks Lisa for breaking my heart - ;) Yes, I've seen that Oliver thickness planer (assume like the pic below) - now, please don't tell me there is also a Felder cross-cut table saw like the $10K+ one shown below? :)

SO, Sly.... - if you can contribute to our $20K budget, we can make you that wood computer - :) Dave

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lclev
01-09-2016, 09:28 PM
RadDave - there are three tables saws. Two have the sliding table but they are on the woodshop side. I can't remember the brand but no Felder. I was the Agriculture teacher so I had a plain old regular DeWalt table saw.

When we built the new school, the shop teacher and I designed our space so we could share and team teach. I was more metalwork and welding oriented and he was wood working. We set it up so we did not duplicate but complimented and that gave us more variety. A lot of our machines were older and case iron and they could take the beating high school kids gave them. ;D

Lisa

Jonzjob
01-31-2016, 11:01 AM
Going back to cricket and a little bit of education for those wot don't know the rules, they are very simple.

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide whether the men who are in are in or out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

So terrible simple to follow, but please don't ask what a googly is or I may well burst into tears :Confused::Confused:

Slydude
01-31-2016, 01:20 PM
I have a headache now and need a large aspirin.

MacInWin
01-31-2016, 03:36 PM
I need a large whiskey. Then maybe the aspirin.

Jonzjob
01-31-2016, 03:57 PM
Headache?

Why?

It's all perfectly logical and straightforward ..O:)O:)

It must be all that Jack Bean or Jim Daniels that you drink the other side of the Pond??

MacInWin
01-31-2016, 04:01 PM
The really sad thing is that it is a perfect description of the game. Ouch, I need another whiskey...

XJ-linux
01-31-2016, 10:24 PM
We in Minnesota thank you for your concern, but graciously decline. We've already allied ourselves with the Nordic nations of Europe, and besides all those rules you've laid down get in the way of hunting and fishing. We will gladly share our tater tot hotdishes with you if you visit and treat you to a round of hockey or curling.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm-MrkoJPC8


http://video.tpt.org/video/2365042610/

RavingMac
02-01-2016, 12:20 AM
We decline the offer to govern us, but will gladly send you the current crop of presidential candidates . . . please keep them somewhere, anywhere but here ;P

Jonzjob
02-01-2016, 02:57 AM
Oh, I forgot to mention that unless there's only one innings, that's where both teams are in and out just once, there are normally 2 innings and the game can last up to 5 days (yes, five daze !)

I would imagine that you would get extremely excited, so please just calm down or you will sound like Aussies over the Ashes?

Ah, the ashes:Cool::Cool: Not that's a really interesting story :Mischievous::Mischievous::Mischievous: Would you like me to tell you about that?

Nearly forgot to ask? Are the Minersotians really so positively negative ??

XJ-linux
02-01-2016, 09:36 AM
Nearly forgot to ask? Are the Minersotians really so positively negative ??

Negative? Not so much. It's all in the linked tourism video. I think you'd best describe us more as extremely un-extreme. It's too cold half the year to do things any other way, except when the Vikings are playing football not too badly on a nice -16C degree day.

Jonzjob
02-01-2016, 09:44 AM
Is that playing football or the American stop/start version of rugby ;);):Mischievous:

cwa107
02-01-2016, 10:30 AM
We decline the offer to govern us, but will gladly send you the current crop of presidential candidates . . . please keep them somewhere, anywhere but here ;P

You can say that again. Keep all of them, preferably behind a stockade fence.

Sawday
02-01-2016, 12:12 PM
You can say that again. Keep all of them, preferably behind a stockade fence.

Especially that one who thinks Paris is in Germany.

IWT
02-01-2016, 12:51 PM
Keep all of them, preferably behind a stockade fence.

And please don't send them over here; especially not that shy, modest guy, Mr.......whatshisname.

Ian

Jonzjob
02-01-2016, 05:31 PM
Especially that one who thinks Paris is in Germany.

It was was for a while, but with a little help from you guys across the pond we got it back where it belongs, at the centre of the universe. Well, the bleedin Parisians think it is??

By the way the 'Meridian Verte' wot used to be known as the Paris Meridian and wot used to be the time set around the world until we English got it and is now known as Greenwich (pronounced Grenich for you lot over there :*:* ) took it away. Well that Meridian Verte is a line that runs through Carcassonne and Paris is about 500 miles straight north up from us...

MacInWin
02-01-2016, 05:59 PM
Actually, Paris is in Virginia. Doubt that? Look here:

http://www.bing.com/maps/#Y3A9NDMuNzUwMDAwfi05OS43MTAwMDAmbHZsPTQmc3R5PXImc T1QYXJpcyUyQyUyMFZpcmdpbmlhJTJDJTIwVW5pdGVkJTIwU3R hdGVz

Jonzjob
02-01-2016, 06:10 PM
Come now Mac? Next thing you will be telling me that your jobbie has a copy of the Blackpool Tower too

https://www.google.fr/search?q=blackpool+tower&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwis17f0ydfKAhWHXBoKHRzlB_oQsAQIKg&biw=1109&bih=614

Complete with 'Kiss me quick' hats

http://images.google.fr/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2 Fpix%2F2014%2F10%2F20%2F1413834751333_Image_galler yImage_Mandatory_Credit_Photo_by.JPG&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2Fnews% 2Farticle-2800613%2Fkiss-quick-covered-blackpool-wants-use-new-anti-lout-powers-ban-inappropriate-dress-nudity-stag-hen-weekends.html&h=822&w=634&tbnid=zyJQ2d9tAD9BqM%3A&docid=rmexKHdpyzmiHM&ei=p9evVqa9LcawUY_ak8gN&tbm=isch&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=448&page=1&start=0&ndsp=16&ved=0ahUKEwjmrI2jytfKAhVGWBQKHQ_tBNkQrQMITjAP

Blimey! That's one hell of a link???

MacInWin
02-01-2016, 06:23 PM
Nope, OUR Paris has horses, and a pretty good tavern, and that's about it. Beautiful scenery though:
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/10392273.jpg

Dogbreath
02-03-2016, 01:46 PM
We are actually one up on the Blackpool Tower...we installed a space craft on top of ours!


23787

toMACsh
02-03-2016, 01:54 PM
You guys are way off! Everyone knows that Paris is in Illinois:
https://www.google.com/maps/place/Paris,+IL+61944/@39.6149901,-87.7208129,13z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x8872978c9cc6953b:0xac6fd 1a9bd8ee4f

MacInWin
02-03-2016, 02:01 PM
Ha! That's just a copycat of Paris, VA.

Jonzjob
02-03-2016, 03:23 PM
We are actually one up on the Blackpool Tower...we installed a space craft on top of ours!


23787

Ah, but do it have a ballroom with a pop up organ at the base? And do you reckon it will still be there 112 years after it were builded:Mischievous::Mischievous: Like wot B/pool tower has got.

The fact that Blackpool is the town where hemeroids (piles) were invented and is, in my opinion, the biggest hole in the world doen't come into it :Mischievous::Mischievous:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSw6b7PVpDw

IWT
02-03-2016, 03:44 PM
I suspect patients invented haemorrhoids (Note British spelling Jonzob. I know you are walled in, in Carcassonne, but still, standards, man!;) )

Blackpool may have discovered them although I can find no documentary evidence of this. Was Blackpool around in ancient Roman times?

Ian

Jonzjob
02-03-2016, 06:21 PM
It may well be just a matter of speech Ian, but at the tender age of 13 I spent 3 months in B/pool after 2 1/2 years in Malta. Jan, Feb and March 1956, in a forces transit hotel called The Glenshee and believe me if hæmorrhoids could have been invented then it will have been there!

Don't forget the æ Ian ;P;P:Cool:

Jonzjob
02-06-2016, 02:56 PM
Further to our conversation. Today the 6 Nations Rugby Union (15 players as opposed to League with 13 players) Competition has started. Rather than me trying to describe it have a gander at this site

http://www.rbs6nations.com/en/matchcentre/fixtures_and_results.php#8kdRM0CPSk3yPPzW.97

Fixtures list and the nations competing and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Nations_Championship For more info. No armour plating used by this lot :Evil::Evil:

MacInWin
02-07-2016, 01:14 AM
John, when I lived in England I watched an RU match on television. One of the players broke his arm in the first half, was taken off. Came back out to play the second half with a cast on his arm. Tough guys.

Jonzjob
02-19-2016, 05:49 PM
Going back to cricket and as to just how important it is to us serious English here is a piece of youtube of our wonderful game. A little damp just doesn't matter..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBX2CG-ZInQ

Enjoy and envy :Cool::Cool::Cool::Cool: You won't see the like on the Western side of the pond!!:o:o

MacInWin
02-19-2016, 06:33 PM
HEH! I think I saw a similar effort at The Oval once...the wicket is a bit tricky on the Solent.

Jonzjob
02-20-2016, 03:04 AM
Possibly? But isn't there a kind of Oval on your side of the pond too?

I can't remember ever hearing of cricket being played there though. Too small and if I remember correctly a lot of underhand bowling going on:Mischievous::Mischievous:

I think it's a room in a house somewhere :Evil::Evil:

MacInWin
02-21-2016, 12:47 PM
Well, despite the "games" played in that Oval, cricket is actually played in Washington. A group of cricketers gather on the Mall in Summer months to play on an oval area called the Ellipse just south of the White House. The players are usually ex-pats from UK, Australia, South Africa, the West Indies (i.e., where cricket is played). Most work in their various embassies or for companies supporting those embassies. The cricket is not bad for a bunch of amateurs.

EDIT: I forgot to add the Indians and Pakistanis as well. It's definitely a mix of nationalities. The odd Yank shows up, too.

BudVitoff
02-29-2016, 08:40 PM
20. ... Hang on that one can stay.

Please translate.

Jonzjob
03-01-2016, 03:36 AM
Certainly dear sir :Cool:

If one Trumps then one coughs in ones trousers, obviously commonly known as a trouser cough and if one has a cold and is coughing as well it can be known as coughing at both ends.

That reminds me of the very posh lady who went to the doctors because she had terrible wind. She told the doctor that when she went to the opera it was very embarrassing because she just couldn't control it and that the only grace saving was that it was always quiet. Then she passed wind in the surgery (I wonder if that would be a skirt cough??) , apologised to the doctor and said do you see what I mean but at least it is silent.

"Ah, I see what you mean madam" said the doctor "but I do believe that there is another problem and that firstly we need to get you a new battery for your hearing aid" :*:*

BudVitoff
03-01-2016, 11:45 AM
Oh, I had a good idea about the Trump part. That's why I used the ellipses. What I didn't understand was "Hang on that one can stay".

chscag
03-02-2016, 01:46 AM
OK guys time to close this one out. It's beginning to get a bit on "R" side. Thanks to everyone for your input and participation.