advice: dated someone this evening

so its 1:30am and just got home, a date, its a monday.
how much trouble am i into: the person is 2mo out of rehab (Cocaine ~benzoylmethyl ecgonine). good employ and diggs, support system (friends). no hint of bad, you would not hear no, feel no, taste no bad. honesty up front, directly spoke about this to me after about an hour of conversation. answered all questions, kinda slow on what started the stuff tho.

-anyone know the clinical theory of whats going on in the head
-what are the percentages of remission
-what are the triggers
-any insight in to the physc
-pm me if you need

-this will be difficult... should i stay away... soooo sweet tho.

recovery

your choice, but in my opinion, both as a recovering addict,(14yrs) and as a Clinical Director in Rehab, this individual would have been advised to stay away from relationships for at least a year, preferably 2.
A poor outcome in a relationship during a very vulnerable time of re-discovery of self is a trigger to use again, (and blame you!)
My advice,for what its worth, ;D stay away

Umm if they have good support then you shouldn't really worry. However in the case of addicts there is always the urge to do the drug, they need something to replace the habit. Drugs mess up body chemistry and it lingers. The longer they are off the drugs the higher the chances they won't go back.

jah said:

so its 1:30am and just got home, a date, its a monday.
how much trouble am i into: the person is 2mo out of rehab (Cocaine ~benzoylmethyl ecgonine). good employ and diggs, support system (friends). no hint of bad, you would not hear no, feel no, taste no bad. honesty up front, directly spoke about this to me after about an hour of conversation. answered all questions, kinda slow on what started the stuff tho.

-anyone know the clinical theory of whats going on in the head
-what are the percentages of remission
-what are the triggers
-any insight in to the physc
-pm me if you need

-this will be difficult... should i stay away... soooo sweet tho.

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You're fine, I know several recovered coke addicts, all of whom are still good people.

Well fingers crossed it should turn out all fine.
Just try not to give/lend this person any money for a while. Sure it's mean but it's better I think. Less chance of them using you for drug money. I know it's really unlikely but better safe than sorry.

And good luck.

Get her drunk. She'll tell you anything then....

Maybe this is why AA and the local clinics send guards out with tasers everytime my ankle bracelet alerts them to my presence....

the8thark said:

Well fingers crossed it should turn out all fine.
Just try not to give/lend this person any money for a while. Sure it's mean but it's better I think. Less chance of them using you for drug money. I know it's really unlikely but better safe than sorry.

And good luck.

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*roll eyes* please, just because someone is into drugs doesn't mean that they're going to use you for cash to get it. Some people love their hard drugs but still have a sense of morality.

podraig said:

your choice, but in my opinion, both as a recovering addict,(14yrs) and as a Clinical Director in Rehab, this individual would have been advised to stay away from relationships for at least a year, preferably 2.
A poor outcome in a relationship during a very vulnerable time of re-discovery of self is a trigger to use again, (and blame you!)
My advice,for what its worth, ;D stay away

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That is correct. You have to work on yourself and be happy with yourself for a while. If you can't stand you and love yourself, how do you expect someone else to. The best thing to do is to take a year or two and work on yourself. I dropped all my friends that was not good for me and didn't date and just took college classes and worked on bettering myself for a 1.5 years before I dated again and I think that is the only thing that saved me.

Village Idiot said:

Get her drunk. She'll tell you anything then....

Maybe this is why AA and the local clinics send guards out with tasers everytime my ankle bracelet alerts them to my presence....

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

Derek McNelly said:

YOU MUST NOW IMPLANT HER WITH YOUR SEED.

Do it now.

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....................

DarkestRitual said:

*roll eyes* please, just because someone is into drugs doesn't mean that they're going to use you for cash to get it. Some people love their hard drugs but still have a sense of morality.

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No, but there are many documented cases of those that don't.

I mean, 1 1/2 weeks out of rehab would probably leave you wanting more.

Not everyone has same willpower.

I'll quit now. I didn't mean to post anything serious.

Like any group of people, drug users come with 95% of their ranks as totally worthless douchebags, and 5% tolerable. Same goes for non-users. You've just got to find the 5% of people in life that are tolerable.

But it does not matter if some are sumbags and some are good. Like try to find like I think. Scum seem to be happy with other scum, and good seem to be happy with good. It's all about finding someone you are happy with and feel safe with.

But it's good to keep both eyes open though. If life not just with relationships.

I'm sorry but some of the ideas floated around in here are why some people who are trying to recover never get the chance to develop meaningful relationships with other people. If she is committed to changing, and only you can tell that out of all of us, you need to giver her a chance. If you like her, help her. She was considerate enough to tell you early because she probably cares enough about her recovery. Judge her as the person she is, not the person she was.

I'd have to agree with the second post. the girl was most likely told in rehab not to date anyone for at least a year, meaning she's already disregarding adivce from rehab. It's really not a good start. Being alone sucks, but you have to play the cards you're dealt. If she's already giving in and breaking some rules, who knows what she'll be doing in another 2 months.

If I were in your shoes, and before it gets too "involved" I'd let her know that I believe in her and want her to become fully recovered, but it might be a good idea just to remain friends for a while. That would give her some time to solidify her recovery and firmly set in a better, drug-free life. If she makes it through that for a while you can move on in the relationship. But if you're beyond the point of no return, it would probably be best just to break it off and hang on to each other's numbers from sometime down the road.

I agree

Soooo what happened?

MacGirl* said:

Soooo what happened?

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i got an email the next am (after i posted) that i was not a top enough. i even sealed the night with a ph...k (1st date), just wish in these things i could figure them out so its not such a big surprise.

i moped around for a day and tuesday was over it. found someone else for tomorrow sunday, my luck, bet this one has latent hep-c

I agree to....